Bart and Todd Flanders decide to enter a miniature golf tournament. Homer becomes confident that Bart will win and makes a bet with Ned that the father of the boy that does not win will have to mow their neighbors lawn in their wife's Sunday dress.
Season 2's golf-obsessed episode hits 82 with 53 jokes across 22 minutes, anchored by escalating Flanders rivalry.
Directed by Rich Moore · Written by Jeff Martin
WAR
50.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Dead Putting Society” ranks #70 of 226 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 82.6 — Elite. The episode packs 53 scored jokes at 3.3 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Your wife's butt is higher than my wife's butt. You make me sick.
Homer Cringe/Discomfort Escalation ★ Rewatch Oh, my God. He's enjoying it!
Homer Reaction Beat Character Comedy ★ Rewatch You're welching on our bet? -What? Neither boy lost. -But neither-- We-- You have to do it too. -Small price to see you humiliated.
Homer Ned Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Remember what Vince Lombardi said! 'Lose, and you're out of the family.'
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch One for the road.
Homer Character Comedy Visual Gag ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 53 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Bust my hump all week. Stupid grass! Supposed to be the boy's job.
Homer Character Comedy Observational You heard the lady, Homer. So please mow quietly. Genius at work.
Bart Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm One o'clock. Still just a potato.
Bart Deadpan/Understatement Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Hi, Flanders. -Doing yard work? -Who told? Marge, beer me.
Homer Character Comedy Reaction Beat There's nothing wrong with crabgrass. It just has a bad name. Everyone would love it if it was called 'elfgrass.'
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Don't toy with me, woman.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement We've only been neighbors for one, two, three, four-- Eight years.
Ned Character Comedy Misdirection There's my little popcorn ball. Kissy, kissy.
Ned Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Beggars can't be choosey.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Toodley doodley.
Todd Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Your wife's butt is higher than my wife's butt. You make me sick.
Homer Cringe/Discomfort Escalation ★ Rewatch One for the road.
Homer Character Comedy Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Well, it was how he said it. -How did he say it? -He.... -Was he angry? -No. -Rude? -It wasn't how he said it either... but the message was loud and clear. Our family stinks.
Don't backpedal. You were right. He's perfect. Perfect in every way.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation I'm not perfect, like Ned Flanders.
Probably stepped on a worm.
Oh, Matthew 19: 19, yeah, right.
'Bosom.' Wait, wait, there's more.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Read the bosom part again, Dad.
Bart Character Comedy Callback Callback Too bad we don't live on a farm. Let's go.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy But I got it in the middle.
Homer Character Comedy Visual Gag D'oh! That was practice. / Play it where it lays.
Get bent.
Bart Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement It went in. -Good shot. -Luck.
Yeah? The fruit of my loins can beat the fruit of your loins any day.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch This is the only time I will ever say this. It is not okay to lose.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm what a violin is to the guy-- The violin guy.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Give it a name. -What? -Give it a name. -Mr. Putter. -Wanna try a little harder? -Give it a girl's name. -Mom. -It's Charlene.
Sometimes the only way to feel good is to make someone feel bad... and I'm tired of making people feel good.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch A blockaded bishop is of little value, but I think you mean a pawn.
Lisa Character Comedy Setup/Punchline 'Anecdotes,' 'Eisenhower and,' 'Humor,' 'Japanese Obsession With'....
Lisa Observational Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Piece of cake.
Bart Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Absolutely. But, Bart, how can sound exist if there's no one there to hear it?
You've actually found a practical use for geometry!
Lisa Observational Character Comedy Get down before the neighbors see-- / Simpson!
'May the best man win.' The loser's mating call.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun I'm not a betting man. -I'm a chicken, am I? -Right.
You have yourself a bet, you jackaninny!
Ned Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch 'Loser' is such a harsh word. How about 'the boy who doesn't win'?
Ned Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun That crazy Marmaduke. / Eighth hole? / Octopus, third tentacle.
Steak will make him logy. -What won't make him logy? -Oatmeal. -Oatmeal?
News flash, Lisa. Bart is not a horse. Eat your steak, boy.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Having never received encouragement, I'm not sure how it should sound. But here goes. I believe in you.
Marge Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch I already prayed, and we can't both win.
Bart Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Afraid so, infinity plus one.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Mercy's for the weak, Todd.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Remember what Vince Lombardi said! 'Lose, and you're out of the family.'
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Who wants character? Let's quit. -Okay.
Bart Todd Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch this is the most stirring display... of gallantry since Mountbatten gave India back to the Punjabs.
You're welching on our bet? -What? Neither boy lost. -But neither-- We-- You have to do it too. -Small price to see you humiliated.
Homer Ned Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Small price to see you humiliated.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Simpson, I feel silly, but what the hay? Reminds me of my old fraternity days. -Oh, my God. He's enjoying it!
Ned Homer Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Oh, my God. He's enjoying it!
Homer Reaction Beat Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — The Simpsons
