Character Analysis
Lou
Played by Hank Azaria
35 jokes across 18 episodes of The Simpsons
11.8
35
7.0
6.8
Character Comedy
Lou delivers 35 scored jokes across 18 episodes of The Simpsons, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.8 on impact for a career WAR of 11.8. Their comedy leans toward character comedy. The highest-scoring line is below.
Funniest Lou Lines
Take him away, boys. Hey, I'm the chief here. Bake him away, toys.
Well, that car thief can't hold his breath forever. - And if he can, Chief? - Then God help us all.
Oh, my God! It just disappeared. It's a ghost car! There are ghost cars all over these highways, you know. Hold me. Only if you hold me.
It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling
You'd better have a good reason for doing that, boy. / It makes me feel like a big man. / Let me check my reason list. Yep, it's on here.
All Jokes — 35 total
By God, men, you're a bunch of marshmallows. Why don't you go, Chief? Well, I'm too... ...important.
Look, I'll level with you. There is no Timmy O'Toole. It was just a prank I was playing on everybody. Well, you sure fooled us, kid. Hey, I got an idea for a prank. Let's go home... and go to sleep. Good one, Eddie.
You must think we're the worst parents in the world. Yes, that's pretty much the feeling down at the station.
It's called a baton, son. What's it for? We club people... with it.
Tonight his honor is... polling the electorate.
Good thing this alley got so narrow in the middle.
He's unconscious, sir. Oh, they can still hear things.
Small world, huh? It is. It really, really is.
It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling
It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.
Take him away, boys. Hey, I'm the chief here. Bake him away, toys.
One is wearing a green dress, pearls and has a lot of blue hair. A lot of blue hair? [Giggles] What a freak.
Oh, my God! It just disappeared. It's a ghost car! There are ghost cars all over these highways, you know. Hold me. Only if you hold me.
Hey, look, Chief! It's pointing right at this police station. / Let's get out of here! [All Screaming]
You'd better have a good reason for doing that, boy. / It makes me feel like a big man. / Let me check my reason list. Yep, it's on here.
Yeah, I'll give it a shot. I mean, you know, it's my job, right?
Wait a minute. If a second old geezer got shot, how come nobody reported it?
Chief, that wasn't a monster. That was the captain of the high school basketball team.
Put out an A.P.B. on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greek town. That's HomerJ. Simpson, Chief. You're reading it upside down.
Uh, Chief, you're talking into your wallet.
You know, I went to the McDonald's in, uh, Shelbyville on Friday night. / The Mc-what?
But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese. / Get out. Well, what do they call it? / A Quarter Pounder with cheese.
They call 'em shakes... 'Shakes.' You don't know what you're gettin'.
That's some good work, Lou. You'll make sergeant for this. Uh, I already am sergeant, Chief.
So the hook is baited. Nice metaphor, Eddie. Yeah, good work, Eddie.
235 unpaid parking tickets totaling $175
Whoo-hoo-hoo. That's sweet.
Well, that car thief can't hold his breath forever. - And if he can, Chief? - Then God help us all.
Looks to me like he suffered a lot, Chief. Ah, geez, Lou. How long were you gonna let me keep drinking this thing?
Oh. Wait. I just got it. Bad hair day.
The electric yellow has got me by the brain banana.
My God! It's nothin' but carrots and peyote. Damn longhairs never learn, Chief.
Well, you gotta spend money to make money, Lou. Mm-hmm.
We promise we won't kill ya. Speak for yourself.
She's good, Chief.