The Lucky Charm

Will:You might want to change them pants.

Will:Maybe he can pick one out of Uncle Phil's pants.

Will:Carlton, what is it, recess at the clown convention?

Carlton:That's right. And by the way, Will, who cut your hair, Ray Charles?

Carlton:I've been saving that one for a week. Don't even try to top it.

Will:Back in Philly I knew this guy named Leo Brentley. The dude tried to steal my lucky drawers.

Jameson · Will · Jameson:You have a pair of lucky drawers? - Well, yeah. - So do I.

Jameson:This is all very interesting.

Will · Jameson:I ain't down with carrying golf clubs. / It's $50, plus tip. / Fore!

Will:It's because your hat's turned to the side, you can see better.

Will · Jameson:That's wack. / 'Wack.' In what sense of the word?

Geoffrey:And was your sucking up as successful as you'd hoped?

Ashley · Phil:But, Carlton, Dad's his lawyer. Isn't that kind of using a connection? / I can't believe it, Vivian.

Geoffrey · Will:What's his handicap, sir? / Ain't it obvious?

Hilary · Will:I just told my boss, 'Teach me. I'm a blank slate.' / At least you're honest.

Hilary:So, when customers come in the door, I ignore them. If they ask me about a piece of art, I look right through them. If they ask for a price, I go like this... [gesture] And walk away.

Ashley · Hilary:Hilary, it sounds like they hired you to be a snob. / I guess they saw something in me.

Carlton:No, sir, my name is Carlton.

Jameson · Vivian:It's a sprig of wolfsbane. Hang it over your kitchen door and all will be well. / But Jameson, everything's fine in our kitchen. / That you know of.

Jameson:I would've lost millions, but thanks to my 'Yo, homey' here...

Will · Jameson:So what you're saying is thanks to me, you got lucky twice yesterday. / Three times.

Will:The wife girlie will be smiling for months.

Jameson · Will:I don't drink. I like to keep my mind clear. / I think he's cleared it out pretty well.

Carlton · Jameson:I was born August 4, 1974. - A Leo?

Vivian:Why is that man running loose on the streets without medication?

Vivian · Phil:Last year... Jameson was taking all of his stock advice from his dog. / That's untrue, Vivian. He only took tax advice from Sparky.

Will · Vivian:He talks to the spirit of a dead dog? / No. He had him stuffed and put in his office.

Will:The planet he's on ain't even been discovered yet.

Will:Exactly. That's Sparky's job.

Hilary · Ashley:Federal taxes? This is an outrage. Didn't President Bush say, 'No new taxes'? / But federal taxes aren't new. / They are to me.

Hilary:And who is this FICA guy?

Carlton:That may seem like a lot, Will, but wait till they take out all the taxes.

Will:Size 42, extra fly.

Geoffrey:Does he need a butler? Just asking. For a friend.

Will:I know. I just feel terrible. Am I showing enough cuff?

Vivian · Phil:Philip, why don't you tell Will about Sparky? / I don't think we need to go into that. / Last year... Jameson was taking all of his stock advice from his dog.

Henry:I thought we had agreed on groveling.

Will:I'm sorry, but the aura is wack.

Jameson:What did you say, Sparky? He's talking? He hasn't talked in weeks.

Will:It's two against one.

Carlton:Great. That's your lucky number.

Jameson · Will:Will, you owe me $14 million. / Here's $5.

Will:You're the one that's got Lassie as your vice president.

Phil:Stuck in the office buried under paperwork... because Sparky chased a Buick... and you thought that was his way of telling you to take over General Motors.

Jameson:Philip, you're just the goat I've been looking for.

Will:Uncle Phil told him he could take his big account... fold it five ways and stick it where Sparky can't find it.

Geoffrey:You know, I've always wished I had the nerve... to tell off my employers.

Vivian · Phil:Capricorn? Philip, your birthday's January 30. You're an Aquarius. / Vivian, for a $20 million account, I'm a Capricorn.