The Ethnic Tip

Carlton:My guess is you don't have the right stuff.

Will:Sorry about that, Coach, but... I thought I'd run a few laps before class. Help out the old basketball team.

Professor Smiley:Professor Smiley. And for that little slip of the tongue, 20 laps.

Carlton · Will:I think I aced this one. How about you, Will? I think I did just fine.

Will:And the little smiley face you use to dot your 'I'... shows that you got way too much time on your hands.

Will:Handsome movie star, who will only be happy... if you spend obscene amounts of money.

Carlton:One look at my signature and he deduced that I was valiant... ingenious, and have the strength of 10.

Will:No, Uncle Phil. You deserve a fresh piece of paper.

Carlton:Getting you and Mom to sign his 'Hall of Shame' History exam.

Ashley:Sorry, Will.

Will · Vivian · Carlton:You will? You will? You will?

Headmaster Armstrong:This should certainly be fly.

Headmaster Armstrong:The last movie I saw was Dead Poets Society.

Headmaster Armstrong:With the right headmaster... that would have been a completely different story.

Professor Smiley:I don't know a lick more than what's in this book. So forget it.

Headmaster Armstrong · Uncle Phil:Article 4, Section 9. / Where'd you get ahold of that book?

Professor Smiley:A month off? Armstrong, I think the kid's got something here.

Vivian:You're looking at her. See you in a month.

Will · Carlton:What, are you tripping? How do you figure that? Because the teacher's my mommy.

Aunt Viv · Carlton:What did you call me, Mr. Banks? / What I always call you: 'Mom.' / My name is not 'Mom.' My name is Professor Banks.

Vivian:That was very well put, Mr. Smith, but you're wrong.

Vivian:That covers about 250 years, Mr. Smith. Care to narrow it down a bit?

Will:That's what I meant.

Carlton:Congratulations, Will. What an honor.

Will · Carlton:This course was a brilliant idea. She's your mom!

Carlton:He used to say, 'Extra work for you... means extra work for me.'

Carlton:I'm Carlton Banks. That's right, the Carlton Banks.

Carlton:Excuse me, miss. Maybe you can help me out here. I've lost the feeling in my lips.

Will:It's right around the corner from the Pencil School?

Vivian:Look at you. Honestly, Will... those eyebrows!

Carlton:The tall one really liked me.

Geoffrey:Because I've always been partial to food and shelter.

Hilary · Geoffrey:It's like, I mean... Leave me alone! You're hired.

Geoffrey:You're hired.

Will:My body needs a certain amount of microwaves.

Will:Last night, I had a dream that I went to the prom with Harriet Tubman.

Carlton · Will:Umoja. What? Umoja. It's Swahili for 'unity.' Dope, huh?

Carlton:Shoot me.

Carlton · Will:After you, Will. / No, you go ahead first. / I insist. / She's your mom. / This class was your idea.

Carlton:I hope you don't take this the wrong way... but you made our lives a living nightmare.

Carlton:This whole ugly episode... it's not going to affect my grade, will it?

Carlton:And you're very beautiful, Mommy.

Carlton:And you're very beautiful, Mommy.

Will:Aunt Viv, I read The Autobiography of Malcolm X three times.