When You Hit Upon A Star

Will:If I had two sets of lips, I'd kiss myself.

Geoffrey:We'll be melon balling at 0600.

Philip:She put her bra on one cup at a time just like everybody else.

Carlton:I'd pay big money to see that.

Will · Carlton:Well, you overlooked one small fact, Carlton. What's that? You weren't invited.

Carlton · Will:The glasses have spots on them. Oh, my God. Why didn't you come to me sooner?

Carlton:Today, Michelle Michaels, tomorrow, Gloria Estefan. And then, dare I dream, Michael Bolton.

Will:People act so stupid when celebrities get around. I need a reality check. You, waiter.

Will · Carlton:I think it stinks. I apologize, Miss Michaels. He's from a foreign land.

Carlton:Back to work, Vladimir. Carlton Banks here. I balled your melons.

Will:I've been back here. I couldn't hear anything. All I heard was: [mimics muffled sounds]

Carlton:You know, Miss Michaels, I thought your album stunk too.

Geoffrey:Hey, I checked her coat.

Carlton:I wonder who'll play you in the movie of her life?

Will:Nothing too fancy. Something in a hatchback will do just fine.

Hilary · Will:Hilary. Oh, that's all right. Don't worry about it. Aunt Viv, you can still surprise me with that red sweater you hiding in the upstairs closet.

Michelle:Are you stalking me?

Ashley:Your second song on your third album is so cool. Who was Omar? Is he your boyfriend?

Will:Pardon my little sister. She doesn't know how to talk to celebrities. So, Mich.

Philip:We're not hip, so we don't know your music. It's nice to meet you anyway, though.

Geoffrey:Don't think of me as just a manservant, think of me as a pleasure dome.

Will:See, tonight is dime-a-frame bowling night, you know. Top scorer gets those cute little shoes and I just couldn't miss that.

Will · Hilary:Listen, she got a private jet. She has yacht. Does she have a brother?

Will:We're going to the Golden Choice Music Awards. They got us sitting between Ike and Tina just in case something flare up.

Hilary:No, there's gonna be patchy morning fog with limited visibility.

Carlton:All set. I ordered a Sunny the Seal ice-cream cake. His sleek little body is made of chocolatey goodness and he balances a ball of tutti-frutti sherbet on his buttercream nose.

Vivian:You are way too into this.

Philip · Geoffrey:Jazz, to what do we owe your presence? My guess would be inbreeding.

Jazz:Oh, no. You don't understand, Mrs. Banks. She don't come in naked.

Hilary:Sergai keeps the salon open till 9. I'm gonna see if he can squeeze my head in.

Will:I'm just glad that the Saint Bernard didn't have to suffer.

Will:Frank and Kathy Lee came over with that little dude Cody. He made bubbles in the Jacuzzi without the jets on.

Philip:Will, this Maria Shriver... full-figured gal?

Carlton:A cleverly orchestrated ruse, bub. And to think, I laid out 50 big ones on your damn cake.

Carlton:The one that goes: [Carlton singing Sunny the Seal jingle]

Will:Damn. And I mean that in the nicest possible way, Hil.

Hilary:I look like a troll doll.

Hilary:Sleep with one eye open.

Philip:You mean, which superstar would I choose?

Philip:You mean, which superstar would I choose?

Will:Listen, make sure they don't let you in, okay?

Will:I got Vegas, you, me... a black dude and a white dude beating each other. Life is good.

Will:I got Vegas, you, me... a black dude and a white dude beating each other. Life is good

Rick:Rick Benton. We shot a swimsuit video in Tahiti. Guy?

Will:Yeah, you were the April fool, right?

Will:Why don't you and your Motown-revival haircut go back to your seat, shave your chest, shut up and just watch the fight.

Will:How did I know he was gonna fall on Sinatra?

Michelle:I just gave one to the paramedic.

Will:There's 'Untouchable.' There's 'Never Going To Settle.' There's 'Wham Bam Goodbye.'

Will · Philip:They showed that on TV? From the first shove to when Sinatra put his toupee back on.

Will:You trying to say that the only reason I loved her was because she was rich and let me sponge off of her? Then I love you too, Uncle Phil.

Will:Then I love you too, Uncle Phil.

Carlton:We waited an hour and a half. What's a couple more days?