Holly Flax

Pam, you weigh 226 pounds? / Almost, Kevin. / Not almost though, Holly. I mean, not-- not close to 200.

Math is hard.

Actually, I'm a lesbian. / I'm gay. / I'm not a lesbian. I don't know why I said that. Stupid joke.

I'm messing with you, Holly. / I knew that. Okay, bye.

No! You do not talk to him like that! / But he's an idiot! / He is not an idiot. / Thank you, Holly. / He is mentally challenged. But he's doing a super job here.

Not that guy who murdered his mother. He was not so handsome. Also Kevin.

Fat people are not monsters. / Bang, boom! Case in point.

Pencils down! Just kidding. Take your time.

It's going to be insane. No, it's not. I have to read from the binder.

Turns out being the morality police does not make you popular. I should know, because in middle school I was the hall monitor and the kids used to stuff egg salad in my locker.

Um, tonight. I'm free tonight. Is that too eager? No. I don't care. I'm free tonight.

Oh, wait. Oh, tonight's no good. Because i am busy taking you out. Oh, i just remembered. I can't tonight. Why? I'm going out with you.

We could go to the food court, get different foods. You could get chicken teriyaki. I could get a hot dog. Some of what we order depends on whether we're having sex after.

Oh, my! Wow, elephant in the room. Are we, do you think? Do you think we're gonna have sex tonight? Hell, yeah.

Oh, after vous. Thank vous.

Do you think they can hear us? Not if we turn these dials All the way down. Now they can't hear us at all. Oh, good. We're totally alone.

Oh, my god! So much for sex without consequences. You are such a dork!

The springsteen tickets seemed too good to be true. But a lot of michael seems too good to be true. So far it's all true. But yeah, those tickets Really seemed too good to be true.

Look at all this stuff. It's only seven hours

Those Duke boys are at it again. Hey, do not touch my radio

I said 'Jinx' and then we never talked about it again

Life is a highway I wanna ride it all night long

The combinations are endless.

You can go to hell. I'm kidding! Sure, I will get you the best iced tea in the world.

For us.

You bet your fat ass we are.

Have ya hoyd the news? Extry, extry! Read all about it! Newspapers for sale!

Crystal cool.

Dun-der, Dun-der, Dunder, Dunder, Dunder...

Are you ready to play Slumdunder Mifflinaire?

I was there! I was a tour guide at Dartmouth College!

Robert Mifflin had undiagnosed depression, which 9 million americans suffer from, and is very treatable.

For $500,000, is it, A) Scranton?

No, it was a tough audience.

This is Holly. No, this is Holly. No... This is Michael Scott. Busted.

We would have twins. I don't think we'd have kids. Mmm-hmm. We would be married. Michael, I've been dating A.J. For a year and a half now.

You cried at that tag line for a movie you made up. 'He had no arms or legs. He couldn't see, hear or speak. This is how he led a nation.'

This is Holly Flax. I can't come to the phone right now, but please leave a message at the sound of the tiny truck backing up.

Well, well, well, if it isn't Michael Scott. You old bastard. Well, I never thought I'd see your face around these parts, you old bastard! Well, I did show my face around these parts, you old bastard. Why, you're some sort of wise guy, huh? I most certainly am. Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk... D'oh! Oh, Homey.

Oh, huggy monster! Oh, not the huggy monster! I don't want to die! I don't want to die!

Oh, it's so nice to be back. It looks beautiful in here. Super-classy. It's like a party for limousine drivers.

Oh, I love... A.J. gave me that. Well, that's understandable. Still raw.

A.J. said he hadn't seen any of the Toy Story movies. You're kidding me. No. I know. I'm like, 'What? Are you serious?' What a douche bag! Get a life!

He had a little note pinned to him that said, 'You've got a friend in me.' Yeah, Randy Newman's the best. Yeah. I love him. Me, too.

Who told you that? Nora Ephron, in every romantic comedy ever made.

You don't think... It's not possible that Woody did this to himself? It is Christmas. No, it really seems like something Michael would do.

You're re-gifting this to me. No, that's not... No, I went to the mall and I picked that out especially for you. Oh, yeah? Well, show me the receipt. From the mall. This is a fast food receipt from April.

I was making salad, and he fell right into the dressing. I mean, there was salad dressing all over him. He smells awful. It was blue cheese dressing.

E.T. phone Holly. Holly like phone? Holly misses old phone. Why? New phone is confusing, gets bad reception. Oh, bummer. Bummer. Reese's pieces. Reese's pieces? Oh, God. Please stop.

No. Don't go see that one. I want to see that together. Yeah, go see that action one. Okay. I love you, too.

Holly Flax. Yes, Michael? Not Michael, E.T.

Put her there. Give me a good firm one. Ooh, that's a good, firm handshake. You're hired. Yes, well let's get right into the Anderson account, shall we? Okay. Yes, yes, right away.

(IMITATING E.T.) E.T. phone Holly. Holly like phone? (IMITATING E.T.) Holly misses old phone.

I went to Portugal. I went to Portugal. Oh, wow. You went together? No. No.

You need to get your own life.

You know how you say something over and over and the words start to sound weird? Going to be just fine. Just fine, just fine, just fine.

Michael calling Holly 'Necropolis' and asking for kiss

Yes, I do. No, you don't. Yes, I do. No, you can have your own opinion, and I can have mine. I have my own opinion, and my opinion is to disagree with you.

He's gonna be a lot of fun to drive around in a car with. Oh, you'll get through it, hon. Just make a game out of it. A funny Jim game.

What are you doing? Just changing my cell phone plan. Okay. Here you go. I'll take my free stress ball too now. Sure thing. Here you go, Miss... Okay, Fanny Smellmore.

Real original. What? You know what? Say hi to Orville Tootenbacher for me. Tootenbacher. Orville Tootenbacher, that's Michael's millionaire character that farts popcorn.

I just miss you so much. I missed you, too. Really? Yeah.

Okay, bye. Okay, bye. I'll miss you. Miss you. Okay, bye. Bye. Bye. Okay. One more big one. Don't go.

Close. It's a romantic treasure hunt. A scavenger hunt is where you find items from a master list. This is where you follow clues that lead to a prize. Common misuse.

But there's no clue. Well, get to work. I can't 'cause there's no clue. The puzzle is the clue.

He can put both his legs behind his head.

Michael and Holly making playful noises during the PDA meeting

We are going to designate one of our closets as a hook-up zone. No. Anything goes!

I sit on your lap because I like the way your thighs feel on my butt.

Do you mean you love me like, 'Hey, there's Holly. I love that girl,' or do you mean you love me like you 'love me' love me?

No touching. No touching. I'm trying not to touch you. Oh. Almost got you. We can't do this.

Make that face he likes. Which one? I have a lot of stupid faces.

Do a monkey face. Do a monkey face. (Kevin making monkey sounds) Throw your poop. Hurl your feces.

I loved that you got to work together with all your friends. Isn't that so great when you can all work together like that?

What don't you understand about the word 'approved'? It seems a couple of you don't know what the word 'approved' means. I have very little patience for stupidity.

Right. This isn't the U.S. government. What are you referencing? Everything. Everything.

Well, I mean, he humped Michael. Well, if that's the case, I guess I've got to be fired too.

Okay, bill cosby, Steve Martin, Charlie bit my finger, Michael Scott, then all the way down here, Todd packer.

I'm sorry about your friend. No. He's an ass. You are. What are you, wicked smaht? No, you are.

Your friend michael, yes. What's going on? Um, I think I know, Uh, is dad there? Hollis? Hi, dad. There was a program on tv about india.

Well, who do you have? I have your father. He's right here. I'll put him on. No, mom. Oh, which one's decaf?

How do you know when it's time? I don't know if you ever know. And if you wait for the day when your parent comes to you and says, 'i can't take care of myself,' it's never gonna happen.

My dad isn't doing so well. Oh, okay. For how long? I don't know. And I want you to come with me. Now, I Okay. And I was thinking, you know, and that we're both ready... Michael scott, will you No, no. shh!

Uh... What? No, I am not going to be proposed to in the break room. That is not going to be our story.

So this is one of my favorite places in the world. why? This is where toby announced It was the happiest day of my life... Until the day you came to replace him.

And this is where we first made love. Michael!

When I called you to tell you that I had herpes, and that I was still in love with you. And you said that it was over And thank goodness It was an ingrown hair. Yes.

This is where we coran our first meeting. Remember? Obesity awareness? Saved a lot of lives that day. That's where you first met michael klump. Oh, I sayI say I sit on you.

Oh, you mean this? Yeah. Yes, my hero. I'll pay the rent.