Pete Miller

Remember that thing we did when Jim was in high school with his girlfriend?

Like, she basically has a hobby for a job

We pranked you. It was Pam's idea. Pam was the mastermind

No, Pete is not the new Jim. The only thing we have in common is that neither of us wants to sit on Meredith's face. And if that makes him the new Jim, then every human being in the world is the new Jim.

They called me 'iceman.' You will be called Plop. What? Why? 'Cause you're always taking dumps.

You, uh, you a sports guy? Sure. Boxing, tennis. Oh! Any team sports? NASCAR, The Amazing Race.

You mean horses? No. Like baseball, the baseball team. I like the Red Sox. I'm from Vermont, so...

Well, it could be a nice letter. I write nice letters to companies all the time. That's really nice.

This election thing is crazy, right?

Yeah. I accidentally read it. It's not a nice letter.

Guess I'll just head over to the mall then, buy Erin some sexy, fun outfits. That Clark, huh?

Well, he tried to, but the fire door was blocked. He sure did.

I could do a couple more takes. We could do it in close-up. That might even be better for editing.

Pete and Clark doing mock introductions: 'Hi, I'm Pete! Puberty is such a drag, man.' 'And I'm Clark, I like to eat toilet paper.'

Does he have a flipper? Oh. Nope. It's not that. He, uh... He flipped a table one time when he was drunk. He sounds like an idiot. Yeah, he is.

I just saw your face. Oh. I'm sorry. It's for the thing. I know. That's great. It just-- it makes it look like there's an eyebrow in the middle of your face.

He's a sweet kid, Darryl, but not the sharpest guy in the drawer. Kevin, I can hear you.

My brother dared me to memorize it, and I did it, and I loved doing it.

Are you gonna kiss me? Yes.

Eiffel tower.

Pam! Pam! Look out! Erin's gunning for your job!

So far we're only popular with imaginary people, but we think this is the start of something big.

Alan Olifson from North Dakota. He also likes Hammermill and Georgia Pacific. Wow, that guy's really into paper. Yeah.

Awkward handshake/fist bump choreography failure between Pete and Erin

Or it's like me getting on my hands and knees and begging my partners to switch a Tuesday for a Thursday. Alakazam.

And poof, he disappears.

You know, when I was a kid we had a dog who got real sick, and we had to send him to a farm. And on his last day, we did everything he loved.

Really playing the scales, huh?

Pete's realization: 'It just occurred to me that Andy has been calling me plop for so long he forgot my real name. Which is Pete.'

Andy's chlamydia lie: 'I just got off the phone with my doctor, and turns out I contracted ch-lamydia from Erin. And it's incurable.'

Gabe's KKK music question: 'So you like songs of hate written by the white knights of ku klux klan?'

It's just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at a coworker.

Man, he's really in Twinkle Town now.

weren't those darts intended for an animal, like, two to three times larger than him? / this dosage was meant for a very small bull, and Stanley's got way more body fat than they do.

He's like a manatee.

I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but I've never actually done this before. / Well, if I may, you're a natural. / I mean, I've rehearsed it in my head, like, 1,000 times, but, uh... / That's a little weird.

I need you to go down to the bottom and catch him. / I can't catch him, he's, like, 250 pounds. / You use your hands and just blunt his descent, okay?

Just say 'arms' and 'legs,' okay? That just-- that's the vernacular that I'm comfortable with.

Isn't the client, like, best friends with his sister?

You don't watch baseball. I keep forgetting that.

'Plop'? Still? We owe Andy that much. Yeah. Absolutely we do.

What's the opposite of a horse? A sea horse. A sea horse! Whoa. How did you know I was going to say that?

Uh, no one recognizes me, but now all my friends call me Plop. So, thanks, PBS.