Bart gets a perfect score on a practice test for a national achievement test, which not only rattles Lisa, but it means Bart gets to attend a special party instead of having to take the actual test. Meanwhile, Homer must avoid injuring himself for an entire afternoon after failing to pay his insurance.
WAR
36.1
Wins Above Replacement
“How The Test Was Won” ranks #328 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 77.0 — Great. The episode packs 56 scored jokes at 4.2 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.5 on impact, with Principal Skinner landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Principal Skinner · Student: Imagine each question is a baby chick. If you answer wrong, the chick dies. Shut up, they would've died anyway.
Homer: Oh no, now who will sell oranges on the off-ramp?
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Principal Skinner: Get down on your knees, pray to your God, and ask him-- no demand he tell you the answer. And if he won't, he is no God of yours!
Principal Skinner · Student: I am a successful principal who paints houses in the summertime. You painted our garage and it was peeling by October! Your dad insisted I use an inferior primer.
Marge · Homer: You mean back to the poor house. Fine, back.
All Jokes — 56 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: Three, two, one. Happy new year! Of school!
Homer Misdirection Wordplay/Pun Homer: You're the government's problem now!
Homer Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: Free at last. Free at last.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Dark/Subversive Bart · Marge: I never learned anything at that suckshack. Who taught you that language? Kid at school. So you did learn something.
Bart Marge Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Homer: Insurance is the greatest deal ever. If I get hurt, I get paid. And man, do I get hurt.
Homer Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Mr. Becker: Where my Dils at?
Principal Skinner: I never tire of that.
Student · Principal Skinner: He stinks! We're assessing you, not him. Withdrawn.
Principal Skinner: No Child Left Alone act
Superintendent Chalmers: Cut the horse bull Seymour!
Superintendent Chalmers: Your scores on this test will determine how much money this suckshack gets
Teacher: Accaca-Dabacca-Accacaca
Teacher Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Teacher · Student: Biggest city in Montana? Helena? Wrong!
Teacher · Student: You can't teach this way! Yes, I can! Pretty sure this works! Where are these studies conducted? Ball State.
Student · Teacher: What kind of pencil do we take again? Number two, take a number two. Looks like you took a big number two.
Teacher: Yes, quite so. As you can see, I'm holding a big number two in my hands, enjoying the weight and feel of it.
Lisa: Now I can show-off on the federal level!
Lisa Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Bart: Slurt my snot. I wrote 'slurt my snot' in the ovals on the answer sheet. True story.
Bart Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: Oh no, now who will sell oranges on the off-ramp?
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Homer: Oh no, now who will sell oranges on the off-ramp?
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer: Great jokes make me hungry. I wonder what's in the pantry.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Principal Skinner: I warned you. You got a perfect score.
Lisa: Several? That's more than a few, and almost a bunch!
Lisa Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Bart: Wait a minute. This ain't no genius-copter. This is con-air!
Bart Visual Gag Meta/Self-Referential Principal Skinner · Superintendent Chalmers: Brilliant plan to remove all the underperformers for test day, sir. Yes. All of them.
Principal Skinner: Can't believe it. Superintendent Chalmers betrayed me. After all the wrapping paper I bought from his daughter.
Willie: We're hiding you in capital city for the day so your numbskullary won't drag down the test scores of the children who are our future.
Willie Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive Student: Will there be other numbskulls there? Sort of a numbskull Olympics as it were? Let's all act stupid!
Homer: This was due two weeks ago! I'm uninsured!
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Callback Homer: For the first time in my life, I'm financially responsible for my own actions!
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Homer: I'm not in good hands. I'm in no hands! Like a bad neighbor, no one is there!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Escalation Principal Skinner · Student: Imagine each question is a baby chick. If you answer wrong, the chick dies. Shut up, they would've died anyway.
Lisa: What? They're all equally valid. That can't be! In life, everything only has one answer!
Lisa Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Student: Piece of cake, huh? Ah, I'm writing on my shirt!
Student Physical/Slapstick Irony/Sarcasm Bart: You're stuck babysitting us losers, which makes you the real loser.
Bart Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Principal Skinner · Student: I am a successful principal who paints houses in the summertime. You painted our garage and it was peeling by October! Your dad insisted I use an inferior primer.
Otto: Sorry. I was mesmerized by the little boy's dance.
Otto Visual Gag Cringe/Discomfort Ralph: I finished before we came in.
Ralph Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Principal Skinner · Bart: Oh, God. We're at the corner of Cesar Chavez Way and Martin Luther King Boulevard. ¡Ay, caramba!
Marge · Homer: You mean back to the poor house. Fine, back.
Marge · Homer: You mean back to the poor house. Fine, back.
Homer: Book club? That's the most stupid boring thing ever! Oh, thank you.
Homer Character Comedy Misdirection Book club member: I've been cleaved!
Principal Skinner: Lisa, like Captain Kirk, I'm not supposed to interfere. But like TJ Hooker, I say what's on my mind.
Principal Skinner: Get down on your knees, pray to your God, and ask him-- no demand he tell you the answer. And if he won't, he is no God of yours!
Student: Sure thing, Such.
Student Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Mr. Burns: Why do terrible things always happen to wonderful people at 3:01 P.M. Which, for the record, is the correct time.
Mr. Burns Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Marge: At this point in a marriage, a wife should know what her husband can do and what he can't. Who was I to think you can mail an envelope?
Marge Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: Baby, I hope you've got snuggle insurance... 'cos I'm about to file a claim.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Callback Student · Principal Skinner: You like all boys? Shut up! A child is in danger under my aegis!
Principal Skinner: I'm using the principal of conservation of angular momentum to turn the container!
Student · Principal Skinner: That's the kind of stuff they should teach in school! We do teach it in school. You're too busy eating sugar snacks and horsing around!
Student: Learning can teach you things. Education rules.
Student Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Principal Skinner: By seeing their principal run around on top of a shipping container.
Principal Skinner: Drop that number two. Yes, I know what that means.
Lisa: Hurray! I'm a brainy outcast again!
Lisa Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — The Simpsons
