Lisas Pony

I called her. She's not home. I also tried Mr. Flanders, Aunt Patty, Aunt Selma, Dr. Hibbert, Reverend Lovejoy... and that nice man who caught the snake in our basement.

Wow. And after them... out of all the people in the world... you chose me.

Let me caution the people in the first five rows-- You will get wet.

The doors are now locked, so you parents can't sneak out after your own child has performed.

Just in the nick of-- Mmm. Beer.

This is a whole lot of nothing. I'd rather watch the boilers.

D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!

The moron next door closed early. / I happen to be that moron. / Oh, me and my trenchant mouth!

I'd like to open with my impression of... Principal Skinner.

Duh, look at me. I'm Principal Skinner.

That young man just became... the boy of a thousand days detention.

I wonder what lunch lady Doris has for us today. / Today's special is refried... dog poop.

Let me think about it. Uh... no.

Come on,Jer. Open up. I pulled you out of that burning car.

What instrument does she play? / I don't know.

Lisa, stop playing that stupid-- Saxophone! That's it!

Alto or tenor? / D'oh!

I'd like to put this filth behind us... and let's all enjoy... Lisa Simpson's rendition... of 'Stormy Leather.' / Uh, 'Weather.'

Sounds like that gopher I caught in me lawn mower.

Ew, I'd hate to be that kid's father.

Uh-oh.

Let's hear it for Lisa Simpson... and her wacky sax. / Yeah! Whoo! / Must be her father.

Oh! That cost $88! / I don't feel much like eating.

I forgive you. / D'oh! You didn't mean that. / No, I didn't.

You're taping it? / Yes. / I'll watch it later.

No wonder she hates me. Oh, I never even noticed she was alive.

Maybe I should give up on Lisa... and make a fresh start with Maggie.

If I spend any more time doing girl things... I'm going to, you know, go fruity.

With today's gasoline prices, we can't afford not to.

When you yell at me, I see love in your eyes.

Was that a yes or a no? / Baa. / Those aren't even words. / Sna.

'Scottish Deer Hound.' Hey, this is a dog! / My friend, you're smarter than I gave you credit for.

That stunning creature over there... is half a million dollars. / Half a million dollars?! / He was sired by Seattle Slew. His mother won the Kentucky Derby. His likeness graces a stamp in Tanzania.

This check is dated January 1, 2054. / Is there a problem with that?

Isn't there like a pound... where you can pick up cheap ponies... that ran away from home?

Are you acquainted with our state's stringent usury laws? / Usury? / Silly me. I made up a word that doesn't exist.

You're not planning to eat it? / It's for my little girl because she doesn't love me.

Shut up, Simpson. / Smithers, let's not be so cold. His spirit is my collateral.

I didn't do anything funny, sir. / Shut up.

Sounds like someone's angling... for a pony of her own.

I know you love me, so you don't get squat.

This is Princess. Please don't exclude her because she's different.

By day, it will roam free around the neighborhood... and at night, it will nestle snugly... between the cars in our garage.

That's illegal. / That's for the courts to decide.

Wait! Where's the hyperspace? / Grandpa, you're the spaceship. / I thought I was this guy.

I got down on the floor for this?!

We're always buying Maggie... vaccinations for diseases she doesn't even have.

We could cut down on beer. / We're not going to do that.

Oh, Mr. Homer... what has reduced you to such cheap chicanery?

Three liberty bells! / That will be $10,000, Apu. / If I could see the ticket-- / There it is. / Please to be removing your thumb.

If you need money... you should have jammed a gun in my ribs... or inquire about my help wanted sign.

These hot dogs have been here for three years. They are strictly ornamental. There is only one bozo who comes in and buys them. / But I eat-- / Oh.

Here's a pointer. Try taking it in the shoulder.

Oh, my God, she killed him.

While I'm here with you... my store is going down the tubes.

30 years. / D'oh.

I heard Milli Vanilli was arrested... for impersonating a McNugget.

Although there is no change in my patrician facade... my heart is breaking.

The young man you replaced is rolling over in his grave.

There's a big dumb animal... I love more than that horse. / What is it, a hippopotamus?

He slept, he stole... he was rude to the customers. Still, there goes the best damned employee... a convenience store ever had.