Susan

Quack, quack... quack, quack, quack. / Ross? / That opens my cervix.

Helen Geller? / I don't think so. / Hello, it's not gonna be Helen Geller.

And we all know what a challenge that is.

Kind of like a big face without skin. -Yes. I'm familiar with the concept.

Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise they don't let you do it.

But, we just refer to you as 'Bobo the Sperm Guy.'

Like buddies. / Like lovers. / You know how close women can get.

You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that monkeys and babies are actually different.

Hey, where the hell have you been? We stopped at the gift shop. I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.

I used to have that bumper sticker.

Ice chips, just ice chips. They're at the nurses' station. I'll get them. No, I'm getting it. Be right back. No, I got it. I'm getting it.

You get to sleep with her. I get the cramps.

What is that? Something exploded. It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?

Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along. Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.

What are you gonna do, suck the door open?

Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Father's Day. There's Mother's Day. There's no Lesbian Lover Day. Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.

How about Ben? I like Ben. Ben. How come you never mentioned Ben before? We, uh, just cooked it up. That's what we were off doing.

Look, Ben! It's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas!

Look at you two bonding. Making us late for the airport. / It's just us getting along is difficult for him... because he doesn't like me. / Come on. That's... / It's true.

Yeah, we leave all our big decisions to the 3-year-old.

I'm not married to him anymore. He's my ex-husband. I'm totally gay!

How hot is this?!