The One Where Underdog Gets Away

Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart! You're a terrible, terrible waitress. Really, really awful.

I hear what you're saying. I'm with you.

Does anybody need coffee? -Yeah, over here.

Only 98.50 to go!

Yes, I am. As of today, I'm officially Joey Tribbiani, actor/model.

That's funny. I was thinking you look more like, Joey Tribbiani, man/woman.

No, but I hear Lyme disease is open, so you know....

Good luck, man. I hope you get it.

They're not actually supposed to... I'll work on the lumps.

And her boyfriend. We're celebrating Thanksgiving in December because he's lunar.

Rach, are you gonna make it to Vail? -Absolutely. Shoop, shoop, shoop.

Yeah, well, it was, but I... I broke a cup, so....

...ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.

Well, not mine, but....

Kind of like a big face without skin. -Yes. I'm familiar with the concept.

Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise they don't let you do it.

Wouldn't that mean you're crazy?

But, we just refer to you as 'Bobo the Sperm Guy.'

But you put your head inside this turkey... and we'll all talk and you'll hear everything we say.

In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head.

Forget shoop, shoop, shoop.

No. Here's your mail! -Thanks. You can put it on the table! -Would you just open it!

Chandler, got your traditional holiday feast. Tomato soup... grilled-cheese fixings and a family-size bag of Funyuns.

Very difficult to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.

This isn't a yam. Yam comes in purple cans. They don't come in these.

Ross, don't take this the wrong way or anything, but back off.

Aramis. Aramis. Aramis. -Yeah, right!

You're amazing! You know when to spritz. You know when to lay back.

Nothing.

Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD.

Tonight, on a very special Blossom.

Cider's mulling, turkey's turkeying, yams are yamming....

Get out and stop annoying me! -Oh, that's closer.

Five hours from now, shoop, shoop, shoop!

Look out! Incoming pumpkin pie!

We laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that's not funny.

I mean, it's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.

Tonight's potatoes will be mashed, with lumps and in the form of Tots.

Okay, Mom never hit.

Because then they'd be just like my mom used to make it, before she died.

An unbelievable thing happened! Underdog got away!

The balloon? -No, no, the actual cartoon character.

An 80-foot dog over the city? How often does that happen? -Almost never.

There is one way that offers a certain acoustical advantage, but....

You know, I can't do this. This is... It's too weird. I feel stupid.

We're waiting for you to open the door. You have the keys. -No, I don't.

No, I didn't. I asked, 'Got the keys?' -No, no, no. You said, 'Got the keys!'

And everyone's telling me, 'You gotta pick a major.' So on a dare, I picked paleontology.

You're happy you don't have gills anymore.

Here we come, walking down the street, get the funniest looks from everyone we meet. Hey, hey

Hey, hey, you're my baby and I can't wait to meet you. When you come out I'll buy you a bagel then we'll go to the zoo

Hey, hey, I'm your daddy, I'm the one without any breasts

This is great. It's 5:00. My plane is pulling away from the gate.

Tomorrow is not Thanksgiving!

I got one keyhole and a zillion keys! You do the math.

If not for your stupid balloon, I'd be on a plane... watching a woman do this... right now. But I'm not!

That's it! Enough with the keys. No one say keys!

Why would I have the keys?!

Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his Tots... It's my first Thanksgiving, and I...

Monica, only dogs can hear you now. Look, the door's open. Here we go.

Potatoes are ruined! Potatoes are ruined! Potatoes are ruined!

You wanted lumps? Here you go, buddy. You got one!

We all had better plans. This was nobody's first choice!

Now this feels like Thanksgiving.

He just sat in gravy.

Ugly Naked Guy is having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.

All right, Ugly Naked Guy! -Ugly naked dancing!

It's nice that he has someone.

Who wants light cheese, and who wants dark cheese?

I don't even want to know about the dark cheese.

You got the bigger half! What did you wish for? -The bigger half.

I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting.

...or if you didn't have syphilis and stuff...

I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.

Here's to a lousy Christmas! -And a crappy New Year!