The Otto Show

D'oh!

I want to whip eggs at the warm-up act

Wow, my concert-going jacket still fits. And this is where I used to hide my beer.

Billy Beer!

My little guy's first rock concert. I hope the Spinal Taps don't play too loud.

Oh, I went to thousands of heavy metal concerts... and it never hurt me.

I hear you.

There goes Davy Crockett... in his bald-skin cap.

''Tapping'' into the ''spines'' of young voters, huh?

Hey, Milhouse, cool jacket. It cost me 50,000 Bazooka Joe comics.

Boy, some of the best times I've ever had... were in the back seat of a car.

Ohhh... Oh, baby.

Official tour '92 T-shirts, $31. Check it out-- Spinal Tap kicking Moammar Khadafy... in the butt. A timeless classic.

After the Berlin Wall fell our records started selling... on the dismal side of the Iron Curtain. That gave us a boost. We're big in Bulgaria, and the other Garia.

Hungaria?

Who's benefited... more from the death of communism than us? Maybe the people who live in communist countries.

But we each just bought our own soccer team. How many Hungarios can say that?

We don't know that. What if somebody rocks as good as you? Or better. We don't want to look stupid.

Well, I don't want to lie. Six days a week the place is a hockey rink.

Well, this is a rock concert... not the bleedin'... splish-splash show.

Medium setting.

That's only four miles from my house!

Well, it seems some silly twit... did not get a big enough oxygen pump... but that's supposed to be a devil. Filled with air, it's very evil and impressive. We salute you, our half-inflated dark lord!

People think there are only five members of Spinal Tap... but they're wrong. Could we turn up the house lights? That was the cue to turn up the lights... so we can tell the audience... they're the sixth member of the freakin' group!

Aah! My vision. That's it. Show's over. Good night, Springden. There will be no encores.

They were only on for 20 minutes. What a gyp.

Tonight the city weeps... as for the first time ever... a hockey arena becomes the scene of violence... following a concert by Spinal Tap.

It would be wrong to suggest... this sort of mayhem began with rock and roll. After all, there were riots... at the premiere of Mozart's The Magic Flute. So, what's the answer-- ban all music? In this reporter's opinion, the answer is yes.

I meant a real guitar. This is real.

We spent a lot of money... so you get real good, real fast, or pow.!

I'd like to play me latest chart topper. It's called... ''Me Fans Are Stupid Pigs.''

Slag off. You've changed, man. It used to be about the music. I said slag off!.

Hey, Simpson... what are you trying to play? ''Polly-wolly Doodle.'' Oh, yeah? Well, it sounds Polly-wolly crappy.

Burn.

That's all I did in high school. My old man said I was wasting my time... and I'd never amount to anything. I, uh... Hmm.

We don't have seat belts. Uh... Well, then just try to go limp.

It's a miracle... no one was hurt. I stand on my record-- 1 5 crashes and not a single fatality.

Let's see your license, pal. No can do. Never got one. If you need proof of my identity... I wrote my name on my underwear. Oh, wait-- these aren't mine.

Where's Otto? That's one palindrome you won't be hearing for a while.

Nonsense. One of our good citizens will slow down and wave me in. Nope.

I was thinking about the time... Homer caught his nose in the toaster. We'll watch the tape tonight.

My name's Patty. I'll be testing you. When you do good, I use the green pen. When you do bad, I use the red pen. Any questions?

Yeah, one: Have you always been a chick? No offense, but you were born a man, weren't you? You can tell me. I'm open-minded.

Well, you failed every segment... and misspelled ''bus'' on your application. Drag.

All I found in there was a jar of mustard... and a couple of old Cycle magazines. Wow! I had mustard?

Otto man? You're living in a Dumpster? Oh, man, I wish. Dumpster brand trash bins are top-of-the-line. This is just a Trash-co waste disposal unit.

Mom, I thought... you might forget... our conversation this afternoon... so I took the precaution of recording it. What conversation? Mom, can Otto live in our garage? He sure can.

The admiral and I don't get along.

But doesn't the Bible also say... ''Thou shalt not take... moochers into thy... hut''?

The can of corn costs... 57 ¢! I could sure go for a can of corn.

Uh, you got any of those Where's Waldo? books? No. - Anything from the vampire's point of view? - No. Anything where guys... send in naked pictures of their chicks?

Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet... next to your shortwave radio... your karate outfit, and your unicycle... and we'll go inside and watch TV.

Hey, Pop-N-Fresh! You're supposed to giggle. Gyyaaagh!!

Did the maniac kill her? Natch. You know how I know? How? Because... I was that maniac.

This is not Happy Days, and he is not the Fonz. Hey-y-y, Mr. S.

There's plenty of money out there... for a guy who knows how to fake his own death.

Wow. I've never been called an adult before. I've been tried as one, but...

''Alcohol increases your ability to drive.'' False?! Oh, man!

He didn't call you a bum. He called you a sponge. Sponge?! Does this look like something a sponge would do?! I'll show him... who's a sponge.

So I can staple my license... to Homer Simpson's big bald head!

Homer had a piece of food on his face for three days. It wasn't little either. It was a chicken wing.

Yes, hail to the bus driver... bus driver man.