Mayor Quimby

will henceforth be known as the Michael Jackson Expressway.

Check out the rack on the blond in the fourth row.

By God, men, you're a bunch of marshmallows. Why don't you go, Chief? Well, I'm too... important.

They're like seals-- toss 'em a fish... and watch 'em slap their fins together.

They're like seals-- toss 'em a fish and watch 'em slap their fins together.

How would you like a street named after you?

These look like teeth marks. I thought there was chocolate inside. It was never wrapped in foil. Well, why was it wrapped in foil? It was never wrapped in foil

Could this town be any stupider? Order! Please rise for the, uh, Pledge of Allegiance. Get to the money!

Don't you mean three million dollars? Of course. How silly of me.

My name is Marge Simpson, and I have an idea. It may sound a little boring at first. Chat a way. I'll just amuse myself with some pornographic playing cards.

Probably the greatest-- Ah, it's not for you. It's more of a Shelbyville idea. Now wait just a minute. We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville. just tell us your idea, and we'll vote for it.

All right, I'm in charge here. Oh, run along, Quimby. I think they're dedicating a phone booth somewhere. Watch it, you talking tub of donut batter.

Hey, I got pictures of you, Quimby. You don't scare me. That could be anyone's ass.

Hey, according to the charter... as chief constable I'm supposed to get a pig every month... 'and two comely lasses of virtue true.' Keep the pig. How many broads do I get?

Hey, you, get that steel drum out of the, uh, mayor's office. Sorry, 'mon.'

Mayor Quimby! What are you doing here? I'm here with my nephews.

Ha! And to think those idiot environmentalists were protesting this landfill. Solid waste. I could kiss you.

By the way, this young lady is not my wife, but I am sleeping with her. I'm telling you this because I'm comfortable with my womanizing.

I propose that I use what's left of the town treasury to move to a more prosperous town and run for mayor. And once elected, I will send for the rest of you.

The chair recognizes the little chick with the gleam of hope in her eyes.

Aw, just what I need to tip the skycaps.

Instead of fleeing this town I'll stay here and grow fat off kickbacks and slush funds. - Yea!

People, the punch has been spiked. That's my nephew... displaying the Quimby wit that's won the public's heart.

Happy birthday, Freddy. And may all your disgraces be, uh, private.

And who are you, little boy? I'm one of your nephews you don't see very often, uh, Bart-Bart.

Uh, Freddy Quimby was with me the entire... night in question. We were collecting canned goods for the starving people in... uh, you know, one of them loser countries.

our six-term mayor... the illiterate, tax-cheating, pot-smoking spend-o-crat... Diamond Joe Quimby. Hey, I am no longer illiterate.

Very well, if that is the way the winds are blowing... let no one say I don't also blow.

Congratulations, Robert Underdunk Terwilliger.

Young man, that appears to be a picture of your rear end.

The old person's remarks will be stricken. Who said that?

Let's just say it moved me to a bigger house!

I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet. Oh, dear.

No. Look at this license. I'm Mohamed Jafar. / Quimby, after this fare, get your indicted ass to the convention center.

We'll blow up our dams, destroy forests- anything! If there's a species of animal that's causing you problems, we'll have it wiped out!

But I don't wear puffy pants! I meant a, uh, tax on not wearing puffy pants.

Good God! He is fabulous

Are these morons getting dumber, or just louder? - Dumber, sir.

Uh, have the boys check into that.

And as an American, aren't I entitled to one? Probably!

I don't think we should be driving here. The mayor's yelling at us. Stop, you idiots! All right. All right. Geez!

Citizens of Springfield... I officially declare this- What the hell is that? Why, it's Lisa Simpson! And look what she's doing!

Wait a minute! Let me see that! Well, I'll be darned. Long pants.

You're just a bunch of low-income nobodies!

Election in November. Election in November. What? Again? This stupid country.

I stand by my ethnic slur! Do your worst, you filthy, pretentious savages!

You are all hereby found guilty of the crime of witchcraft. I sentence you hags to be burned at the stake... until you are deemed fit to reenter society.

Marge? Sorry. Marge? Sorry. Marge? Vote Quimby. Sorry.

Freeze, bad guy! Vote Quimby! Okay, man. Don't shoot. Chill.

Oh, God. Can't this town go one day without a riot?

Ya! Gadzooks! Where are my bodyguards?

I'll tell you who. Him!

I really don't care for that code name

Quick, honk at that broad

However, in the future I would prefer a nondescript briefcase to the sack with a dollar sign on it

His corpse is climbing the building / I'm alive, you idiot

Did you know that this is how F.D.R. met Eleanor?

Did you know that this is how F.D.R. met Eleanor?

The mayor's office is not for sale

Can you, uh, edit out the laughs?

Can you, uh, edit out the laughs?

I was thinking of a quiet evening at home with the, uh- [sighs] wife

You moron! That's the kiss of death

You moron! That's the kiss of death. Oh, no! Wait. Maybe I didn't do it right.

We will do anything, including but not limited to anything... to make your stay here tolerable. Yes. You'll be completely above the law. Uh, women, guns, cash- whatever you need. It's yours.

Faster, you moron