The One with the Nap Partners

- I hope it's you. - Me too.

Blah, blah, blah. Who is it?

- Yes! Oh. Hypothetically. Still.

- Why is that the best part? - I don't have to.

Good luck! Oh, and good luck to you too!

Well, we'll watch it a second time and it's Die Hard 2.

Dude, you didn't say Die Hard.

Well, John McClane had plans.

...and starts calling everybody 'bitch.' What are you talking about, bitch?

What if I marry Ross? Or Joey? You wouldn't.

I guess that was it.

Better than Chandler.

- Bye. - No touch. No touch.

Die Hard!

Now we mince the shallots like this. Look, honey, the nice people are chopping shallots. Maybe if they chop enough of them, they can open that bikini shot.

Not judging you, a little gay.

Any chance you were looking into a bright, shiny thing called a mirror?

No, I only dated two girls in college... both blond, both not attractive.

No, we're still together.

I said fa...

You know what they say: 'Elephants never forget.'

Hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs.

That's it. I am maid of honor. - No, I am. - How come you are? Because I cared enough to lie.

Then they send you a script. You go to the set. You rehearse and you have wardrobe fittings. Then you shoot your part. And it's great. But right after that, you're back out on the street looking for work again. Right back where you started. So I gotta say, I don't think a career in acting is the right choice for you two.

- Can't we just flip a coin? - No, coins hate me.

Wow, this cologne really is every bit as good as Giorgio.

That was the best nap I ever had.

- Sure. What do you got? - Warm milk and Excedrin PM.

- You're Louis Posen. - Who? He was my best friend in fifth grade. One day, I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no.

Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom?

I'll do it. But I warn you, this may make me a better person. And that is not the man you fell in love with.

- One being the highest. - Ten is the highest. - Why is 10 the highest? - Because it's the highest.

And also, I ran out on a wedding. You don't get to keep the gifts.

Ow! - Very good! - Oh. Yes, excellent. Perfect score.

Hey, you want a little taste of Pheebs?

This situation is not sanctioned!

Webster's Dictionary defines marriage as... Okay, no! Forget that! That sucks! Okay, never mind. Forget it.

...although he seemed like a 6-year-old.

I remember talking about this day with Rachel... while we were showering together, naked. And she's back in the game!

Hello, Skidmark.

It's a nickname. I'll explain later. It's pretty clear.

You didn't know that?

Well, I guess my work here is done.

Well, except Rachel. Damn it!

- Actually, it wasn't that close.

What? The coins have finally forgiven me!

vegetarian-voodoo-goddess-circle-y shower

A hundred and forty-five pounds. In one year? My God, what did she eat? Her family?

You were not supposed to hear that. I said that behind your back.

This is one of the things that I can apologize for later.

I'd carry you around in my pocket.

That's ridiculous. Rachel, we were all babies once. Oh, you mean today. Yeah.

She made me carry her train... which was weird because I was Wonder Woman.

No, I was 10. I just developed early. Man alive!

Yeah, okay. You laugh now. She's gonna be yours.

What the hell are you doing? God!