The Last One (Part 2)

Relax, we'll just get her some antacids.

She doesn't have a stomachache! She's in labor!

Rash! - What?

this guy at work gave me Sex for Dummies as a joke. - Who's laughing now? - I am.

Last time, you said it like Dracula, and it scared her.

What kind of social situation are you comfortable with?

You'll be fine. You won't, but I'll be back in two minutes.

So, uh, any plans for the summer? - I don't know. Maybe church camp.

Ha... May not want to mention this.

So you ever wonder which is worse? You know, going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts?

One of life's great unanswerable questions.

Maybe there's something even more painful than those things. Like this.

I did not see that coming.

It's a shame people can't visit there. - That is the rule though.

Have you seen him throw a ball?

Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell. Uh, but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it.

Oh. I feel like I'm in a musical. When the sun comes up Bright and beamin' And the moon comes

Guess you'll never know how it ends.

Chick and the duck? Didn't they die--? - Dive. Yeah, they dove. Headfirst into fun on the farm.

It's just the perfect way to say goodbye.

I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse.

Wow, that is one disgusting miracle.

And some other stuff I'm gonna pretend I don't see.

Well, that's spongy.

I'll love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you.

I'm sorry, who should be along in a what, now?

We only ordered one.

These are the faces of two people in the know.

They said, 'Both heartbeats are strong.' And I thought, 'Well, that's good, because I'm having a baby.'

Uh-huh! Join me, won't you?

What do you say we keep one and then just have an option on the other one?

We could give each of them half a medallion. And then years later, they'll find each other and be reunited. I mean, that's a great day for everybody.

Yeah. Because I hear the king is looking to adopt.

I don't care if the entire cast of Eight Is Enough comes out of there.

Is that what a dinosaur would do?

I'm just trying to speak your language.

Eight hours with my mom talking about Atkins. Good luck, Emma.

I love you too. Probably not in the same way.

or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun

I'm not getting you a muffin!

Unless they're like people who've lived in apartments next to each other for years, then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.

Oh, my God, that's just like my name! - Son of a gun, it is.

Even Chandler.

No, I sat in the paint.

I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more obvious way.

Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's a city of Gunthers.

You know, the baby can't read, Mike.

Because my friend Ethel's baby was born with a teeny-tiny beard.

Okay, awkward question. The hospital knows you took two, right?

Yeah. It's a shame you two didn't get to spend more time together.

Jack Bing. I love that. It sounds like a '40s newspaper guy. You know, 'Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open.'

Oh, yeah? Well, tell me which one. I'll try to slip it in my coat.

Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kind of dull.

I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this.

They're gonna really hate me over there.

Maybe sleeping together was the perfect way to say goodbye.

I don't. I want to be with her. - Really? - Yeah. I'm going to go after her.

If we hit anything, the engine will explode, so it's better if you're thrown from the car.

My medallion number is, get out of the cab!

Is the old woman on the bicycle still alive? - Yeah, she jumped right back up.

Damn, that window's clean.

Really? You got us a chick and a duck? Oh, great. Just what you want for a new house with infants. Bird feces!

You stepped on my egg roll? - I'm sorry. I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor.

Oh, tons. I'm quite the Woodsman.

Those are our men in there, and we have to get them out even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life...my time machine.

Did that movie ever get made? - It did not.

Not with that attitude. Now, haul ass!

because that's my bra size.

You know what? If I was in 36D, we would not be having this problem.

We're on our honeymoon. - I'm so lucky I married you.

In your face. You're a different person.

What? - Newark Airport. - Why? Where are you? - JFK.

And we're also gonna buy you tiny bird hearing aids.

Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel...

Good game. Good game. Good game. - Good game. - Yeah.

Phoebe! No, no, no!

I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left phalange.

Oh, my God. This plane doesn't even have a phalange. - I'm not flying on it.

We're getting off. There is no phalange!

That was impressive. - Yeah. You didn't even use the tools for most of it. - Yeah, they were just slowing me down.

I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh?

I could get a goose!

You know, I think you're set with the poultry.

Awkward hug or lame cool-guy handshake?

Yes. The phalange's fixed. In fact, we've put a whole lot of extra phalanges on board, just in case.

I got off the plane.

Unless we're on a break.

Do you realize we almost made it 10 years without that coming up?

Where?