Dee Reynolds: Shaping America's Youth

Charlie:Here comes my main man, Matty! Time for a haircut, Matty, though. Don't make me give it to ya.

Charlie:This orange- it belong to you?

Student:Uh, no.

Charlie:Looks pretty good. Not too peeled. Pretty intact here. You want it?

Student:No, thanks. I'm cool, Professor.

Dee:Did you get that orange out of the garbage?

Charlie:I sure did. Can you believe that? Someone threw this away. Perfectly good orange, you know?

Your belly's so fat, you make John Candy look like Lara Flynn Boyle.

We've been on a snap-joke kick about your pregnant body... but since you're not around, we decided to call you.

Dee:Goddamn it, you guys! I am a teacher now, okay? Don't ever call me here again! I don't have time for your shit, you dumbass dickbags!

Dee:Wrong number. Sorry.

Dee:he's taken a turn for the worse... and he's died. Now, while we all feel robbed of him here on Earth... heaven above... has just received another angel.

Dee:And that... is what you call... a monologue!

Dee:Now, they're not gonna be as good as mine just was, but listen... I don't want you to beat yourselves up for it

Dee:One minute dead, the next minute alive- resurrection. It's all acting! Everywhere there's acting.

Dee:Seriously? Are you kidding me? All right. That's it. I am taking you guys on a field trip to Broadway!

Hey, fat bitch, how you doing today, Richard?

Charlie:He's a dumbass Juggalo. Juggalos for life, bitch!

Charlie:I've sized you up. I've stripped you down. I don't like what I see. I'm not impressed. Big tough guys, huh? Big tough guys!

Charlie:I don't know what that - You have a posse? Well, good. Stick with your insane clown people, and you won't get jumped.

Richard:I lost all my friends.

Charlie:Aw, shit, man. I lost all my friends too.

Charlie:'Cause the professor just took an interest in ya!

Mac:Let's see, we've got the great C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man. We've got the Wayans brothers in White Chicks. That was a very tasteful example of reverse blackface.

Frank:Laurence Olivier in Othello. Perfect. That's the classiest actor of all time.

Mac:Yeah, but I guarantee you there was some black people that were working on that movie... that were, like, 'Man, what dat white man doing? Dat ain't right. Get a black man.'

Dennis:You're doing a black voice, and that's not racist?

Mac:I'm just saying that's how black people talk. That's not racist.

Frank:Yeah, and you got to make the lips funny. Oh, no! No, no, no. What? They have to be funny. The lips have to be outlined.

Principal MacIntyre:So I really don't think you should be hauling students across state lines. Secondly, the funding for arts programs here is pretty much - It's pretty much nonexistent.

Principal MacIntyre:And I emphasize never - give it to someone whom I've just met.

Charlie:Yeah, we're best friends. Best friends. Excellent.

Charlie:You see, he's what he calls, uh, a juggler. Juggalo, bro. Juggalo. He's a Juggalo. Juggalo. It's sort of a clown posse.

Charlie:Tell you what. I'll take him to the locker room, lather him up real good. I'll strip all these silly-ass clothes off him, and I'll clean him sparkling clean.

Principal:Please don't bathe the students.

Charlie:He's bathing himself, and I'm watching.

Principal:I'd rather you didn't do that either.

Charlie:He's bathing himself, and I'm watching.

Dennis:All blackface is racist, and that is the point I'm trying to make. You just cannot cast a white man as a black man and paint his face black. You can't do it.

Mac:In The Lord of the Rings movie, Ian McKellen plays a wizard. Do you think he goes home at night and shoots laser beams into his boyfriend's asshole?

Mac:James Earl Jones has a black face! He's a black man. He's not black. Of course, he's black! He was Darth Vader!

Darth Vader was black.

Darth Vader was not black.

They took the mask off.

He was white.

Dennis:The whole idea is getting the right color shoe polish. Frank, if you're starting with shoe polish, you're starting off on the wrong foot, buddy.

This is an opportunity to screen Laurence Olivier's Othello movie, you know? Then we can get an audience to weigh in. We can really take the temperature on this with a large group.

Charlie:I'd like to introduce you to my protégé Richie.

Richard:What up? Juggalo for life.

Dennis:What the hell is he talking about?

Charlie:Drop it with the Juggalo thing. You're embarrassing me.

Dee:Now, I know you're all super stoked about watching a movie in a bar... but we're just gonna keep it on the down low. You know what I mean? We don't need your parents and the principal finding out. It's just our little secret.

Dee:Uh, without further 'adieu,' Othello. So I guess this is a Shakespearean movie. It's gonna be a little bit boring.

Oh, shit! Lethal Weapon 5! This is great.

What the hell is this?

It's our movie. It's a much more modern-day example of blackface.

Charlie:This is a good movie, Richie. You're gonna enjoy this.

Richard:Man, I ain't seen the first couple, though.

Frank:Turns out someone taint - Someone tapped the tainted water supply. We should have cut him out completely.

What is going on?

Where are you?

Frank splurged on a green screen.

But he wouldn't pay for the green screen on our side, so -

We're not in the back office.

We're in a casino.

Dee:Kinda comes out of nowhere... but at least it's classy. Here comes the turn.

Oh, come on. This is unwatchable. Gotta dive in. Just finish already!

Student:Wait. You guys switched parts?

Dennis:Yeah, yeah.

Dennis:This is regrettable. You're supposed to be... a noble people.

Go suck an egg.

Yeah, go suck an egg.

Go suck an egg?

Frank:Sounds like you guys are having a great party. Why wasn't I invited?

Richard:This is the greatest movie I've ever seen.

Charlie:Are you filming this, Richie?

Richard:No.

Charlie:Come on, dude. That's bootlegging. I'll get you a copy. Don't bootleg.

Mac:That's one... fried turkey.

Principal:I think that video says more than I ever could. As does that.

Charlie:So, we're fired, yeah?

Principal:Oh, absolutely.

Charlie:Yeah.

Principal:Probably never should have been hired in the first place, though, huh?

Charlie:That was my bad.

Charlie:I got something that might cheer us all up. Who wants a little bit of - Little bit of deliciousness here?

Dee:I'm not gonna eat that.