Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender

Charlie attempting to break the world record for holding breath while Frank ignores burning food to watch

Charlie gasping 'I gotta breathe, man' and Frank yelling 'No, Charlie, don't breathe! One more minute!'

Frank lamenting 'We could have been famous' after Charlie starts breathing

Mac immediately asking if they let his dad out when hearing about prison releases

Mac's shocked reaction: 'Holy shit! This dude looks just like Dennis'

Dennis analyzing facial features: 'His jaw is fat and goes this far back. I never go that far back. When I do, it doesn't do that'

Mac predicting: 'I give you six to eight months before you start looking exactly like that guy'

Mac's dad describing drug smuggling: 'I had my butt filled like a Christmas stocking'

Dennis's panicked defense: 'I'm not a sexual child molester. I'm Dennis Reynolds. I'm handsome and chiseled'

Dennis telling Dee that Mac's dad will forget about her 'as soon as he comes across [a woman] that's actually attractive... just like every other man does'

Random people on the street yelling 'Pervert! Dickhead!' at Dennis

Frank announcing he's leaving Charlie: 'I got to get something more out of my life'

Frank's response: 'That's right. A maid. A maid I can bang'

Charlie promising Frank won't find a bang maid 'cause there's no such thing' and Frank responding 'I already did. Your mom'

Mac's dad euphemistically describing violence: 'just keeping up with my correspondence... there was a bit of a struggle, but it turned out just fine'

'Is it the yellow one to the black one, or is there orange involved?' 'Red. Red. Just red.'

Dee positioning herself to parents as working 'with a program that assimilates convicted child molesters right back into your neighborhood'

Dennis shirtless telling kids to look closely at his body and notice how his 'pecs are popping'

Dennis telling kids 'Don't be afraid to stick your ass out. That's not embarrassing. It's a good thing'

Mac's plan involving getting people drunk: 'if we get your dad drunk enough, he's gonna be able to see past your mother's looks... past her skin, all that eczema and shit'

Mac describing his mother: 'she gets so belligerent and mean when she's drunk... she's gonna drive Frank right back into my arms'

Charlie questioning why Mac is using jars for boxed wine: 'Seems to me like it'd be easier to steal the box than jars of liquid'

Mac's frustrated response: 'Where were you 10 minutes ago when I was coming up with this plan, man?'

Dee threatening to tell Mac's dad that Dennis is available and 'asking about him'

Charlie claiming 'I took a crap in yours' and Mac frantically clarifying 'Charlie did not crap into anybody's food'

Mac trying to set up his parents: 'I don't know if you've taken any time out of your dinner to notice her ample breasts'

Charlie calling his mother 'one hell of a whore of a man-stealing woman!'

Charlie promoting Luther: 'he happens to be a very successful drug dealer... beautiful blue eyes that just pop right out of his head... The man doesn't blink'

Charlie's emotional breakdown: 'This is about dudes living together, hanging out, sharing their bed and their life... This is about happy boys!'

Dennis and the real Wendell comparing faces: 'We got the same eyes, same nose, same lips... It's all in here is the same'

Wendell explaining his situation: 'You're out there looking like me, taking all my heat while I'm in here watching the Disney channel all day long. Why the hell would I move?'

The child's rehearsed testimony: 'He gives me juice boxes that make me sleepy... He's a tickle monster... He makes me taste things I don't want to. He puts things in my heinie'

Charlie's panicked reasoning: 'You don't eat someone 'cause they don't have heroin in their ass!'

The revelation that Luther was 'making amends with all the people he wronged' instead of killing them

Luther being arrested for buying tickets 'To Cooperstown, New York... Said he was gonna take some guy named Mac and some guy named Charlie'

Luther's final threat: 'No, I wasn't gonna kill you. But I'm going to now... As soon as I get out, I'm gonna kill you'