The Last One (Part 1)

box.. of... crap...

Wait. Should we be doing this? - I don't know. - It's quite not really a good idea. - Probably not.

I love that our baby is prompt!

Did you see the size of the thing that was coming out of that woman?

I couldn't tell who is giving birth to who!

I think that kid was wearing a shirt!

Yeah, well, this guy at work gave me 'Sex for Dummies' as a joke.

Who's laughing now?

No, last time you said it like Dracula, and it scared her!

You can't leave me alone with her. - What? - This is exactly the kind of social situation that I am not comfortable with!

What kind of social situation are you comfortable with?

You'll be fine. Nah, you won't, but I'll be back in two minutes.

So,... Any plans for the summer?

I don't know. Maybe church-camp?

Hah. May not wanna mention this.

So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts?

One of life's great, unanswerable questions.

Like this..

It's a baby chick and duck! - Uh-huh. And I named them Chick Jr. and Duck Jr. - I did not see that coming.

Yeah. It's a shame people can't visit there. - That is the rule, though.

Phoebe, you were sure Ben was gonna be a girl. - Have you seen him throw a ball?

Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell... but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it!

Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical!

Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes...

Morning! - Guess we'll never know how it ends.

Chick and the duck? Didn't they die... - Dive!

Yeah, they dove head-first into fun on the farm.

it was just the perfect way to say goodbye.

Ross's stunned silence

I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!

Alright. Wow, that is one disgusting miracle.

And some other stuff I'm gonna pretend I don't see.

Well, that's spongy.

Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that... no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you!

I'm sorry, who should be along in a what now?

We only ordered one!

These are the faces of two people in the know!

Well, gosh. That makes me feel so special and good.

Ah-ha... Join me, won't you?!

Okay, what do you say we keep one, and then just like have an option on the other one?

We could give each of them half a medallion, and then years later, they'll find each other

and be reunited I mean, that's a great day for everybody.

What if it's adopted by a king? - Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.

I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of 'Eight is Enough' comes out of there!

Well, now we have one of each! And that's enough!

You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do? - What? - Dude, I'm just trying to speak your language.

Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song.

Can't a girl finish a song around here?

Are you kidding? Eight hours with my mother talking about Atkins? Good luck, Emma!

I love you too. Probably not in the same way,...

and when I'm in a café, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you.

Hey, you know what might help? - I'm not getting you a muffin!

Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day, they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.

Oh my God, that's just like my name! - Son of a gun, it is!

Even Chandler.

How sweet! Oh, is that the baby? - No, I sat in the paint.

How can you compare yourself to Gunther? I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more obvious way.

It's... It's a city of Gunthers!

You know, the baby can't read, Mike!

Yeah, did she sound happy about it? 'Cause my friend Ethel's baby... was born with a teeny, tiny beard.

Now, what, what kinds are they? This is a boy, and that's a girl. - Her name is Erica. - Hey, that pregnant girl's name was Erica! - Yeah. It's a shame you two didn't get to spend more time together.

Jack Bing, Morning Gazette: 'I'm gonna blow this story wide open!'

Well, tell me which one, and I'll try slip it in my coat. Seriously.

Ooh, we could teach them to sing, and we can be like the Von Trapp family! Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kinda dull.

Oh, I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this!

they're gonna really hate me over there.

They slept together? I was with you!

Why there's an ass-shaped paint stain on my couch?

Just your question, Mike!

That's okay. If we hit anything, the engine will explode, so you know, it's better if you're thrown from the car.

No, you don't understand. This isn't a real cab. - Alright, I gotta report you. What's your medallion number? - My medallion number is: Get out of the cab!

Without looking under the diapers, can you tell them apart? - Ofcourse I can, I'm their mother! - Ok, which one is that one? - That's Jack.

Jack's gonna have a tough time in high school with that vagina!

Is the old woman on the bicycle still alive? - Yes, she jumped right back up.

Damn, that window is clean.

Oh, great! Just what you want for a new house with infants. Bird feces.

I'm sorry, I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor!

Oh, tons, I'm quite the woodsman.

It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie, if I'd gotten the part. 'Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life... my time-machine.'

Did that movie ever get made? - It did not.

Not since my cop-show got cancelled.

because that's my bra-size.

Okay, fine! But you know what? If I was in 36D, we would not be having this problem.

I'm so lucky I married you.

Hah! I found it! I told you I would find it! In your face! - You're a different person.

It's flight 421. Leaves at 8:40. - Yes, that's what I have. It's not on the board. - That's what it says here. Flight 421, leaves at 8:40, Newark airport. - What? - Newark airport. Why, where are you? - JFK.

And we're also gonna buy you tiny, bird hearing-aids.

Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel... All of you guys, What can I say? You guys... make us... look good.

Good game, good game, good game... good game.

I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. ... Something is wrong with the left phalange.

Well... - Wait, what are you doing? - Well, I can't take this plane now.

There is no phalange! - Oh my God. This plane doesn't even have a phalange! - I'm not flying on it!

Yeah, they were just slowing me down.

I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh?

I could get a goose!

You know, I think you're set with the poultry.

Yes, the phalange is fixed. As a matter of fact, we put a whole lot of extra phalanges onboard, just in case.

This is it. Unless we're on a break.

Don't make jokes now.

.. But more important.. .. because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal!

Do you realise we almost made it ten years without that coming up?

Where?