The One with the 'Cuffs

Oh, no. I'm paddling away.

Really? We got all this rusty crap for free?

This and a bunch of bubble wrap. And some of it is not even popped.

Could we be more white trash?

How desperate am I? Good thing Chandler's not here. He always wins at this game.

I just told my mom I'd cater her party. How come? I need the money. It'd be a great way to get rid of that last smidgen of self-respect.

You don't have to stick up for her. She can't hear you.

Do you have any juice? Just pickle.

Last time you went out with her you said she was a dud! I judged her too quickly. This time, we took it to the next level.

It's not an everyday occurrence! Usually I'm in there by myself.

Sorry. I knew what he meant.

I thought it was cute. It's what your grandmother's hands looked like when we found her.

I assume you didn't sleep with anyone there. At least that would be something.

And hey, it's cool if you're a lesbian.

No, but try the classifieds. People sell everything in there.

I'm telling you, it's totally unconstitutional. I think he deserves a Nobel Prize. It was like the Algonquin kids' table.

I meant, it's weird that you only have nine now.

It's because they're going to eat... That's the problem.

And whoever finds it wins the prize!

You bet I'd lose a nail? Don't be silly. I just bet that I'd need these. You bet that I'd screw up?

This was just in case you 'pulled a Monica'. You promised Dr. Weinberg you'd never use that phrase.

That's right. My mom has no faith in me! That's hilarious!

No. You have lasagnas!

It just doesn't feel like we're breaking up. No, we are. I'm sad.

When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage.

You're not the boss of me. Yeah, you are.

I'll keep it in my butt with your nose.

I'm in my boss' car. What? Tunnel!

And on a totally separate subject, that's a lovely pantsuit.

I did break up with her! She just took it really, really well!

It did enter my mind. But then something happened that made it shoot right out.

You must have me confused with the 'Amazing Chandler'!

I never borrowed it. Then I lost it. Buy me one!

No, I always see guys do this when handcuffs are taken off.

I'll tell a lie! I'm good at lying! I actually did borrow your Walkman!

He cut off his ear. And? I'm out.

I thought he cut off his ear because he sucked.

Where does the Pope live? In the woods.

Spock's birth control.

Why does that have to be a bad thing? Just change what it means.

A fireman saves a baby, and they go, 'He pulled a Monica'.

Someone hits a homer, and they say, 'That one's out of here'. Because some things don't change.

My breasts are really strong.

I'll clean your bathroom for a month. Still won't be clean.

Why won't you hear me! Sophie, help me! Sophie, sit!

There's a lot I didn't know about vomit.

I'm home during the day...and I got patio furniture in my living room.

I got a baby Tootsie Roll...a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex...a rock...and an army man.

And a fifty. These must be Chandler's pants.

I want to see how this bad boy turns out.

I can be very generous...or very stingy.

I can make you this generation's Milton Berle. And Milton Berle has... Not compared to you.

A bitch? I meant 'wrong', but we can use your word.

You might even say that she 'pulled a Monica'.

She doesn't know we switched it.

I love you. What's going on? No, he doesn't!

Speaking of volcanoes, man, are they a violent igneous rock formation!

Why are you talking about volcanoes all of a sudden? We don't have to. What do you want to talk about? Vivisection? The vas deferens? The Vietnam War?

Could there be more Kims?

I've had a slight office mishap.