The One Where Paul's the Man

Now you're thinking you gotta sleep with him.

No, it's just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us.

And l think Ross is generous, too.

lt's mostly just photographs of...lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches.

Oh, man!

Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend.

Well, her father pays you for babysitting, right?

Looks like l'm not the only one interested in fossils.

Ross, all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils.

Rachel's gonna need to yell sweet nothings in his ear.

'Cause he's got like a hearing aid, you know? 'Cause he's all old.

Yeah. But then l changed my mind. l'm funny like that.

A man with a plan!

Me and Jim Belushi would just be cracking up about something. Then l get fired off Days of Our Lives and he takes me down.

Now he's just laughing at me. Look at him. That smug Belushi bastard!

Look at him just smiling at me.

So, do you have any of Matt Lauer's clothes here? Maybe? Just ones that haven't been cleaned yet?

What do you think? Maybe he's gonna tell you he's gay?

No reason. That would just be a really big surprise, right?

There's a two-year wait. What if you get engaged in two years? Then you've gotta wait another two years? That's four years. Chandler's not gonna wait that long.

Don't feel too sorry for me. At least my boyfriend isn't gay.

Don't even get me started on yours.

Dry cleaners?

l mean, not her actual eyeballs.

Why? Are there like bears or something?

Do you want to ride around town on my little pink bicycle?

A little bit.

Hi, this is Hildy from the Morgan Chase Museum. I'm calling for Monica Geller. There's been a cancellation. If she's still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility...

This is Chandler Bing! Yes, the groom! No, not the groom!

Yeah. l recognized the ankles.

Well, she obviously saw the tire tracks that were leading up to the closed garage.

That's your dad's bedroom!

That Diet Coke, l think, went straight to my head!

You are the man! You are the man!

I'm just a love machine

Well, with a regular guy it's bad. With Chandler, oh, dear God!

Well, Rachel's not here!

Joey, why did you sign it, 'son of a bitch'?

l did not go out with your wife! Okay? l went out with her.

What you heard was: 'Take my daughter...come up to my country house and ruin my weekend with Rachel.'

...l, too, am a 'neat guy.'

And l, too...am 'just a love machine.'

So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you...Phoebe, Rachel, Hildy, and some band called, Star Light Magic Seven...who are available, by the way.

Do you still work here? No. l quit a long time ago. Did l forget to tell you that? l'm sorry.

That's cool. l was gonna fire you anyway.