The One with the Proposal (Part 2)

You say he's straight, I'll believe you.

Why don't they put chairs back here?

What were you doing in Africa? -Working with blind kids.

What are you doing to me?

Because of the government.

I'm so happy and not at all jealous. Oh, no! God, definitely not jealous.

I'm probably 98% happy and maybe 2% jealous.

What's 2%? That's nothing. Totally.

I'm like 90-10. Yeah. Me too.

No. But you know who was looking for you? Tenille.

Look at pigs. Let's take a second here and look at pigs.

A pig can have 100 sexual partners in a lifetime. And that's just an ordinary pig, not even a pig that's good at sports.

Why don't you put down your copy of The Rules, huh, man-trap?

That's what makes it so easy to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler.

I locked him in years ago.

But believe me, that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.

Have you seen Rachel? Or a mirror?

It's for my boat. Cool, huh?

What's the matter? Talk to the captain.

Chandler is a complex fellow. One who is unlikely to take a wife.

Chandler loves marriage!

You got that from what I said?

No, like, 'What's that?'

Although, believe me, she wanted to do a lot more than that.

I was making a coconut phone with the Professor.

And I would have if these damn boat shoes wouldn't keep flying off!

Oh, my God! I know! They suck!

Look, us getting our asses kicked is not a solution.

That coconut phone might be good for the boat.

I didn't ask.

I'll just leave the door open and go sit on the couch.

Scotch on the rocks with a twist? I remember.

No. That's art.

If it bothers you, I can put my art out.

Actually, I thought about you a couple months ago. Yeah, but it's because I had an eye exam, and I don't like my new eye doctor.

Edward Nevsky. Yeah, he's no good.

It's just good sense to back up your backup.

This kind of back talk isn't gonna fly when we're married.

Ross is a good father. But Joey has a boat. This is hard.

Remember my promise: If we get married, three times a week.

I'm talking about massages. No, I'm not.

Ross. Joey.

We should just switch. Absolutely.

Maybe someone with a license to practice medicine. Or a mustache.

Talking about pig sex over lunch, I don't want that!

Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!

10, 20 minutes, if you need it.

Well, all right, one thing happened.

You made my girlfriend think!

It was working till you showed up, you big tree.

You know, Richard, you are a good guy. I know. I hate that.

There's a reason why girls don't do this!

I knew you were likely to take a wife!

This is the least jealous I've ever been!

Oh, no, wait! This is wrong! Ross isn't here!

He's done it three times. He knows what it's about!