The One with Monica's Boots

New haircut? Necklace? Dress? Boots? Boots!

They're a little more than I usually spend on boots or rent.

I'll miss being able to buy food.

The saleswoman was like: 'These are too pricey for you.' - She had a point.

Return them? They're gonna hear you.

I have you. - Nice try. I'm keeping the boots.

How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?

When he said, 'I can't wait for your first words'... I thought, 'There's a trick.'

I am not sending more clothes to prison. - It is a waste. - Not her.

Really? Oh, my God. I'm successful.

Yeah, you know the SATs? She took them.

Fine, no more dinosaur stuff. Can I talk about fossils?

What are you reading, 'The Kidnapper's Guide to Manhattan Schools'?

That's why you have kids.

Wear them with shorts on the corner and earn money to pay for them.

The guy who made these... hates feet and wants to see them die.

Give them to me. I haven't felt my feet in years.

The soles are scuffed up, and the insides are filled with my blood.

I don't think you did a very thorough job. I dropped him off at Carol's.

Sting's son made fun... of Ben's moms being 'lesbenims.'

Playpen? Ben's 7. - Your kid is 7? - He's really small.

Ross can... Ross can... Ross can get me the tickets

Well, I'll let you two 'fashists' get down to business.

I don't care about fashion. I'm pregnant. You are too. You gotta help me.

See? Every cloud has a supple leather lining.

Do you think I work at a boot-pricing company?

And if he gets upset, that's what the meatball sub is for.

Is that a sandwich?!

Obviously, this is a mistake. You can't be pregnant. You have to have sex to get pregnant.

Joe, I tried to wait until I was 25, like you did.

You got pregnant for 'funny'? Dina, if he's funny, laugh!

Now, the boy's name is Sting's son.

Sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside... but they have famous fathers.

I'm a lesbian. It was difficult coming out to my parents.

She's such a scatterbrain. But, man, what a hot piece of ass.

Do you think we can get to the subway if we climb through that manhole?

So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. It's oddly unsettling.

I know you're in pain right now, but I'm a little turned on.

Do you worry that you'll be walking and your baby will slip out?

Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to God!

Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it.

Contraceptives are not always effective. Right? - Yeah. We kind of didn't use any.

Come on, kids, a little help here!

But all I've heard is that Ben's a 'poo-poo-head.'

Then, could we reschedule for Friday night, perhaps at 8:00?

Okay, I would be willing to go to the concert... all the while thinking about the children.

Then you're in luck. Ben's not my son.

The Police? Here? A reunion?

I can see it from right here. It'll cost you one husband.

Why don't you check in one of my saddlebags while I chew on hay?

I really have high hopes for my band.

It's just me and my pal Rooster. The band's name is Numbnuts.

One pregnant woman at a time, please!

To answer your earlier question, we're straight up gangster rap.

You're gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!

Well, let's just say: Ross can

Then that's not breaking the law!