Underage Drinking: A National Concern

Even Sweet Dee's getting lucky! That dude's gonna bang your sister, bro.

How old are you? Twenty-one? Everybody, out!

Everybody, out!

And we also have a social responsibility to keep teenagers from drinking. I guess.

We would almost get raped and/or murdered and/or stabbed by crackheads in Fairmount Park.

Every time some guy talks to you that you like, you get so nervous you drink yourself into oblivion. I had bad potato salad.

Maybe we have 'a social responsibility' to provide a safe haven for these kids to be kids.

I don't know how you guys live with yourselves. One day at a time. One day at a time.

As a matter of fact, I have a date this afternoon with my friend Steven.

I've been there, like, 200 times.

The trick is to just kind of open your throat.

The only reason you got to hang out with me and the other cool kids is 'cause you sold us all weed. Everybody thought you were an asshole.

You were popular like a clown is popular. All the guys knew you couldn't sleep with their girlfriends.

Tim Murphy slept with your prom date! Oh. He's getting sad now. Oh, no. There's, like, watering in the eyes. Now he's running away.

I never statutory raped anyone before.

Let's, uh, just take it slow. Where were you when I was in high school? I was eight.

These kids are wasted, bro. I thought we were cuttin' 'em off. I am cuttin' 'em off. These kids haven't had more than three drinks each. Plus, there's so much water, they're probably more hydrated than they ever have been.

Are they fakin' it? I guess.

Charlie, that was the coolest thing you've ever done! I know. I'm gonna be sick.

You wore that scoliosis back brace until you were 20 years old. Everyone was afraid of you. You looked like a monster!

I'm telling you, this is the wrong kind of glue, Charlie. This is made for, like, kindergartners or something. We don't want safe. We want toxic.

Kind of a lame party, bro. Uh, what do you think? Should we jet? Yeah. This doesn't feel right.

Seventy-seven seconds! That is a new record, baby!

Yeah! What do you think about that, bitches? Load 'em up, losers! What do you think about this, huh? How I embarrassed your boyfriend in front of everybody?

What's with this guy? I know. What is he, like, 40?

Trey asked me to prom last night. This is getting really weird. That girl Sara asked me too.

You can either take me to the prom or I can tell the police that you're serving underage kids. Are you serious? Try me.

The only reason that Sara asked you in the first place is because you're the only idiot dumb enough to listen to her bitch about her ex-boyfriend all night!

My back brace was under the dress, and Mom called me fat. So I stayed home and cried instead.

That dude is going to bang your sister, bro.

Yes, and your eyebrows are drawn on, so... Say it, don't spray it.

He's totally gonna bang your sister.

I always wanted to have sex on prom.

Eighteen's legal, bro. This isn't a morality contest. Eighteen's not young, brother.

They were actually using you two to make each other jealous.

That dude's gonna bang your prom date, bro.

Just like high school.