The Gang Finds a Dead Guy

I'm not talking about killing the guy. I'm talking about going with a group... and intimidate him, maybe break his arm. No more Super Bowls for that pretty boy.

Tom Brady would kick your ass.

Oh, my God. He shit his pants, Dee.

Oh, I don't wanna know that.

I'm gonna poke him with this. Get up, old man. This isn't the American Legion.

Holy shit. That bitch is dead.

This ought to do wonders for business.

Tell you what. I'll get the gasoline. We're not gonna burn it. Come on, dude. You never let me burn anything.

We need to isolate the area. You're just gonna spread whatever parts of him decomposed overnight.

A scientist? That's, like, science talk. Science talk? What the hell is science talk?

That's me. Actually... Actually, I'm the owner. I could help her out now. We own it together. Not really.

Yeah. Yeah, just a very warm and gentle soul actually.

I knew him pretty well. Yeah, we got pretty close near the end there.

You're totally blowing up my spot. I'm not blowing up your spot. You can't just claim the girl for yourself. She's way out of your league anyway.

Out of my league? She's out of your league. I could get that chick.

Pop-Pop is an asshole, Sweet Dee. And I'm placing my bets that that girl's grandfather is an asshole too.

And I'm placing my bets that that girl's grandfather is an asshole too. People don't just abandon their parents for no good reason.

Dude, have you ever been to a nursing home? People abandon their parents all the time. It's a sad, throwaway culture we live in.

Whoa. Geez, your place is looking... good.

Sounds a little mean, but I find them kind of creepy and scary and gross. I think they're gross. It's their hands mostly. You know, how you can see right through them.

I'll tell you what. I'll go with you... but you have to let me borrow your car any time I want. No. Every now and then. No. One time. All right. And... you have to take me to lunch... twice a week for a year. No, I don't. Once a week. Today. Okay.

I can get hot chicks, dude. Mac, don't embarrass yourself. I will always win in these circumstances.

You will not, dude. She's coming over here to see me. - She's coming to see you because you answered the phone, dude. - That's just semantics, bro.

Yeah, I try not to think about me though in circumstances like this. More importantly, how are you?

Uh, it's probably urine and maybe some feces.

Oh, Jesus! He doesn't even look like a real person.

Dennis. Dennis. Oh, this is awkward. I'm... I'm not... Dennis, come here. I've been waiting... a long time for this moment, Dennis.

You're lot shorter than I thought you'd wind up. Yeah, well, you know. I'm actually still growin', so...

You want some candy? No, I'm good. Thanks. Eat the damn candy! Okay. Candy.

Yeah, well, what do you expect from Jews, right, Dennis? Uh... Jews. Um, maybe I should go and check on Dee, because...

And I don't trust any of these kikes in here... to take care of that.

It's not gonna be hard for me.

That would be so amazing. Would you like another drink? No, we're fine.

Jesus, Dennis. This is just goddamn shady. Hey, bud. If you wanna back out now, be my guest. I'd be happy to take all the credit for this.

How would you like to make 20 bucks? Sure. Got some nicer clothes?

Actually, I've got a little something prepared. If that's okay. Mac, did you prepare... Oh, no. Sorry. I totally forgot. He's a terrible public speaker. He gets really flustered and he clams up and his third-grade stutter comes back. It's adorable.

He's a good guy. He's just... got a bit of a drinking problem.

This is unbelievable! I know that! There are, like, so many medals in there, dude! This guy was probably, like, king Nazi.

This is unbelievable! - I know that! There are, like, so many medals in there, dude!

He looks exactly like Dennis. I know.

Buried in it? Screw that old bitch. He's a Nazi. Let him die and burn in hell, right? Let's sell this shit on eBay.

It was Christmas Eve last year and, uh... I was at Lionel's house, making him dinner. And we got to talking about the spirit of giving... So we did, we went down there. And not only did we feed... every last poor, miserable, precious soul... but we washed the feet of every man, woman and child there... in the spirit of Christ.

It was Christmas Eve last year and, uh... I was at Lionel's house, making him dinner.

but we washed the feet of every man, woman and child there... in the spirit of Christ.

Okay. I find this offensive for so many reasons. I'm guessing you acquired this through illegal means. For me to take this from you would be an extension of that. And secondly, that you would expect it would 'make my day'... assumes that I'm interested in profiting off the murder of millions of innocent people.

How much will you give us for it? Nothing. Nothing, or... I plan to call the police the minute you guys leave my office.

Come here, come here. Come here. A little closer. Come here. Oh, now I remember how beautiful you are. And look at these wrinkled old hands against your young face. Oh, and... and these teeth. Look. Look how straight and white.

Yeah. But it just seems like a waste of a perfectly good Nazi uniform.

Auf Wiedersehen. Auf Wiedersehen, my friend.

So we went back to her house... and we made sweet, passionate love.

Awesome. Your grandfather's a Nazi.

Awesome. Your grandfather's a Nazi.