The Gang Gets Romantic

Frank:Gruesome twosome seek exotic Europeans for week long rental in luxurious one-bedroom apartment. Bed to be shared with owners. Shitter down hall. Email F. Reynolds at Warthog-OrgyFart.edu.

Frank:Young Bohemians with no sexual boundaries, w-who don't mind a shitter down the hall.

Frank:Don't be jealous when Charlie and I are up to our eyebrows in Viennese gash.

Charlie:Are you trying to say, uh, 'meat cube'? Like, a little cube of meat?

Charlie:Because that's a good idea, actually.

Mac:Let-let's keep the trap simple.

Mac:I must have overbooked... this Airbnb, and that's a problem... because we only have the one room

Dennis:Now, d-do you like to come off as a difficult person?

Dennis:Right. Yeah, but I was, uh, you know, I'm-I'm, but, you know, ch... Things change.

Frank:They're two Austrian broads. Alexi and Nikki.

Frank:Frank's detailed rules about avoiding eye contact and body exploration during group sex

Frank:And they're gonna encourage us to explore each other's bodies.

Charlie:What?

Frank:A-And that's a hard no for me.

Nikki:Yeah. I am Nikki, and this is my father Alexi.

Frank:Oh, shit.

Mac:I-I never put this much work into banging some cute meat.

Dennis:Its name is Lisa.

Mac:No, Dennis, 'meet-cute.' It has a name, Mac.

Dennis:Its name is Lisa.

The third mysterious noise from the room

Mac:Dude, i-is that, like, a chicken or a parrot or some shit?

Dee:That's no animal.

Dennis:Proving that romantic leads don't have to be likable at all.

Nikki:Uh, may I ask if you have a small pot that I can boil these lederhosen in?

Charlie:What do you got going there with the toe?

'Toe spoon,' for the digging out of the toe.

Frank:We usually sleep ass to ass.

Dennis:I came at this thing like an animal, man.

Greg:It's not mine.

Charlie:I mean, Dennis is having meet cubes with hot chicks, and we're stuck with these guys.

But the trick is to melt the cheese on the outside.

Charlie:I've always kind of seen myself as a yodeler.

Frank and Charlie immediately kicking out the European women they wanted

Sorry, no. We double-booked.

Dee:You know, I can always use a man to help me clean my pipes.

Help flushing the shit you took that backed up your toilet?

End act two.

Dennis:Dig that guy up, you know, see what he's been up to these days.

Dennis:I thought the crying was hot.

Mac:I thought the crying was hot.

Frank:But that's because the guy in 4B went berserk and ripped it off.

Charlie:I do that for Frank when he's taking a dump in there.

Charlie:I can become the door for you.

Dennis:You are a diversionary plot twist at best.

Frank:I do want some of those meat cubes later.

Dennis:Maybe Teddy cheated with Greg.

Dennis:We'll jam it down their throats till they enjoy it.

Dee:Men are not in charge anymore.

Charlie:I saw them using Alexi's toe spoon to cook heroin.

Frank and Charlie realizing they miss Alexi and Nikki

Mac:A gay... gay-ass love story.

Mac:I dumped up your toilet, Greg.

Teddy was our son. He died of leukemia.

Dennis:I don't have a dead kid's... uh, approp-appropriate...

Dennis:That's not romantic. Or comedic.

Mac:That's not romantic. Or comedic.

Frank and Charlie desperately calling for Alexi and Nikki at the bus station

Alexi:We will spend our days together, knee-deep in American gash.

Frank:He had me at 'gash,' Charlie.