The Gang Solves Global Warming

Mac:Look, if God wants to roast us like turkeys, there's got to be a good reason for it.

Dennis:when opinions meet facts, that's when you get truth.

Oh, God.

Group singing 'The Heat is On' while customers swelter

Frank:I don't know why we're wasting our AC on strangers.

Dee:Like I do with my shoes, you know what I mean?

Dennis:How would I know what you mean?

Dennis:Who the fuck do you think is watching your... What?!

Dennis:how is there any plastic left in the ocean after they used it to cover your gargantuan feet?

Dee:make more waste by having a big smoke-spewing truck deliver ice to us when we could just simply get off our asses and go get it ourselves?

We'll do a Story about Purina, tag them, and get you a free case of cat food.

Dennis:Frank, what's the temperature at which a certain body part's small, smooth muscle cells contract, thereby decreasing the surface area of the skin, causing that certain body part to protrude in an unusual fashion?

Frank:65.7 degrees Fahrenheit.

Dee:Son of a bitch charged me $40 for a bag of ice, Charlie. They... he's taking advantage of this heat wave, jacking up the prices.

Charlie:Yeah, he's smart.

Dee:I said staged moments that looked candid and seemed honest.

Dee:Do you have any idea how much pollution a bus causes?

Charlie:I don't know. Uh, three? Three what? Pollutions?

Dee:Yeah. It's when a bunch of people get the app, and then y'all take the same vehicle to different places. Same vehicle, diff...

Charlie:so, like a bus.

Mac:Uh, well, they go to my church. And if I kick them out, then they'll tattle on me to God.

Dennis:Now is not the time for your racism. This affects us all. We're all in this together.

Frank:Talking about the nipples.

Dennis:I don't see any.

Frank:Oh.

Dennis:Right, right. Sorry. Your, um... Not... people.

Mac:Yeah, it's just that his misogyny is stronger than his racism. In this case.

Driver:Well, when someone offers you gum, it's usually a hint.

Dee:I'm gonna give you one star, jerk! Maybe consider getting some gum for those pits!

Charlie:Well, you don't want me to say 'cut,' so I'll say 'stop.' It's better.

Charlie:So we're taking two cars when we could've taken one car or called the truck and this whole thing could've been done, like, hours ago.

Frank:Global warming is the fucking best.

Mac:The Lord provideth again!

Dennis:No, Mac! No. The Lord not provideth. Frank provideth.

Mac:well, the Lord provideth the snowstorm in May that allowed us to get the cups now. See? It's all a part of his divine plan, Dennis.

Dennis:But it doesn't matter what we do if it's all predetermined. You see how your argument doesn't make any sense?

Mac:Uh, that's correct. But it doesn't have to make sense, because that's where the faith comes in.

Charlie:Well, I got a nice little trash bag... that's keeping me a little bit cooler... and then this totally creates shade. You want me to make you a hat?

Charlie:I can charge you for the hat if it makes you feel better.

Dee:That driver gave me one star, citing 'verbal abuse' and saying I urinated all over the backseat of his car. That was melted ice. Actually, I did pee back there a little bit.

Charlie:I did, too. It was a very long ride.

Dennis:I didn't account for all the increased sexiness.

Dennis:You don't need to announce my announcement.

Customer:I want ten shots.

Dennis:You want ten shots, but, you know, ten shots is too much for you and five to six is plenty.

Another Customer:Don't tell her what she needs.

Frank:I got the booze!

somebody ripped a hole in the bag and stole it.

Yeah.

How did you not notice that?

Mac:these are our friends from the fish factory. What's up, guys? They're actually pretty good dudes once you get to know them.

Frank:People were animals, just like I said.

Dee:Hope a bird chokes to death on you.

Dee:I can't stand being near you low-life degenerates!