Paddy's Has a Jumper

If you'll have me as your husband, that is what you shall be.

Whoa! What? Oh, my God. I did not see that coming.

Dennis:I usually hate this old-time British crap... But, like, this-this show is amazing.

Mac:The algorithm... all of our previously-watched shows, they go into a data bank, so they can accurately predict which shows you'll love

Dennis:Math and computers can think better for us than we can think for ourselves

Dennis:When you watch stuff like this, you feel like you want to eat like the British

Dee:Cop! Cop! I'm filming this! I didn't do it...

Mac:We have nothing to do with that!

Thank you for your service. We love the police. Go blue. Blue Lives Matter.

Charlie:We're not gonna get our fish and chips.

Dennis:Bryan O'Brien. I'd kill myself, too, if I had that clown's name.

Mac:You literally have the name of a clown.

Dee:If the guy actually wanted to off himself, he'd hop into a warm bath and he'd do the old... north, south. Down the road instead of across the street.

Dee:The proper way to slit your wrist is take a knife and go from metacarpal straight to bicep, connecting with the artery the entire time.

Dee:I'm not talking... we're not talking about me. We're talking about him.

Mac:Are we not? I think we're...

Mac:He's not gonna die falling from that height.

Dennis:Hard disagree, pal. You could absolutely die.

Mac:I am an American! I can believe in whatever I want in any given moment based on what argument I'm trying to make.

Mac:You are not a true American, Charlie. I'm more American than you will ever be!

Dennis:What we need is an algorithm.

Dennis:My Behavioral Predictor algorithm... Could he? Would he? Should we?

Charlie:Luckily I brought an egg to work today.

Charlie:What would you say in this situation?

Dee:I don't think he's sad, I think he's happy to get off this merry-go-round.

Mac:You had that in the chamber.

Dennis:I was hoping his entire skull would just explode. We all were, Mac.

Charlie:It wasn't in a tree, it was in a hole. It's, like, a rat's egg or something.

Dennis:Frank's secret casaba melon...

Mac:Why does Frank keep a casaba melon in the safe?

Dennis:Has he cut a hole in the rind, and then put it back on, like a plug?

Mac:Oh, yeah.

Frank:Stay away from my stuff. Don't put your hands near my casaba.

Frank:You don't understand. It's my son.

Charlie:Cricket! Where did you come from?

Cricket:I was up on the roof getting eggs from a nest.

Cricket:I've fallen off buildings before; I never die. And look at me. I'm doing great.

Dennis:You're sort of subhuman at this point.

Dennis:Maureen Ponderosa. She died from falling off a much shorter building.

Mac:Yeah, but you pushed her.

Dennis:No, no, no, they never proved that. That was never even proven that she was pushed.

Mac:Just go through their trash. Sleep with them. Talk to their priest, then sleep with their priest. Then blackmail the priest.

Dennis:He's hardly a child, but he's still hanging on to his youth. That suggests daddy issues. His dad hates him as much as Mac's dad hates him.

Mac:My dad loves me. My name's an homage.

Dennis:It's an homage to a hamburger clown.

Dee:Butt-eating... Where are you getting that from?

Dennis:There's a certain glint in the eye, you know, a sparkle.

Dee:You can see that in someone's eye?

Mac:Have you been eating butts? Of course she has!

Mac:That Dee's a nasty fucking slut.

Dennis:Definitely, definitely, but also that the poorly named Bryan O'Brien most definitely would kill himself.

Frank:Oh, yeah, he's a real deranged person. This kid's a real whack job. I'm afraid he's gonna do something really stupid this time.

Frank:My son is actually a big fan of yours. It would really get under his skin if he knew I was standing next to those. You. You.

Dennis:We could become like a hot spot for jumpers. Turn them into martyrs. Highway to Hell, Free Fallin'.

Dennis:The algorithm is telling us that this guy could die, wants to die, and that we should help him do it. That's just math.

Mac:Feelings just get in the way.

Cricket:I'll push him. I don't give a shit.

Frank:If I want to bang it, I'm gonna bang it. Not that I am banging it, but I could. And if it doesn't splatter to bits, I'm gonna bang it later.

Frank:He's calling me strange?

Dennis:Let's try to think of it more analytically, more mathematically. It's sort of like a deletion. Like hitting Control-Alt-Delete. Bloop. He's in the trash.

Dennis:What a gyp. We were gonna... we had a good plan.

Bryan:This isn't my dad.

Frank:Not of this sad sack. I got distracted by the reporter's bagonzas.

Frank:It's where I stash my Maui Kush.

Mac:Pot's pretty much legal now. You don't really have to stash it anywhere.

Dennis:I wouldn't eat it, Cricks. It's full of loads.

Dennis:Mathematically we were supposed to kill a man today. Maybe that's part of the problem of taking the humanity out of decisions.

Frank:It's full of loads.