Frank vs. Russia

Frank:Ah, I feel like I got to take a shit.

No, no, no, no, no autographs.

Dee:That's right. Your girl got her guts pumped last night.

Aren't you, like, 60? You're not a girl.

How's he gonna call you?

He's insanely homophobic.

Huh?

Frank:Not anymore. No, once Mac did the dance, then I get it. I get the gay thing.

He gets it.

He's an ally now.

Mac:Oh, yes. The extra-large anal beads that I shoved up my butt, and Johnny can control them via an app on his phone.

Frank:That's it. I'm out. I'm out. That's it. I don't get it. I am never gonna get it.

Dennis:You let a stranger hack your butthole.

Uncle Jack:My ice cream truck. You know, I-I have, like, a side business.

Uncle Jack:Charlie and Frank are gonna play spies.

Charlie:Yeah, well, we're not playing spies, we're playing chess, okay?

Uncle Jack:What? Oh, no, I-I don't have any ice cream.

Charlie:Don't mind my friend. He's schizophrenic. I am, yeah.

Frank:I took your little castle-y thing. Suck on that, boy!

Charlie:At a sporting event? That's crazy.

Dennis:Oh, Christ, Bozo, give it back to me. I'll do it.

Dee:I used to fuck LeBron James.

Mac:I'm grabbing your ding-dong.

Dennis:The way to make a man fall in love with you is to make him feel like you are... his mommy.

Dennis:DENNIS backwards. Oh, my God!

Dennis:High! High. 'Cause I made it up.

Dee:Roofies. I roofied myself. Yeah, not 100% sure if we plowed or not, but I do know I got this.

Dennis:Do you? Because I am him.

Mac:Then who's Dennis? Well, if you're Johnny, then who... who's you?

Dennis:Like a puppet?

Charlie:Uh, I didn't say any of those words, but yeah.

Charlie:Everything you need is already inside you.

Frank:I don't know what I'm doing.

Chess Commentator:Mr. Reynolds seems to be going through a range of emotions while contemplating his first move.

Mac:Oh, my God. You have Johnny's phone. Give it to me. Give me Johnny's phone.

Frank:It won't... it won't go down.

Chess Commentator:That is checkmate. What a brilliant endgame by Reynolds.

Frank:Kill the Wi-Fi! Kill the Wi-Fi!

USA! USA!