The Gang Gives Back

You accidentally burn down a building, and you get 120 hours of community service?

I don't like kids. I don't wanna work with 'em.

Interstate... Sanitation. Jesus Christ! / That's the guys with the orange vests who pick up trash.

Why would you tell the judge you were drunk? / 'Cause I was drunk. / But why would you say that? / I thought that would get me off the hook.

Those mimosas were like eight bucks a pop, Charlie. / Well, you had like seven of'em.

You don't have any money? What are you... Are you serious? Ah! Ah!

Asians love gambling.

You were in Vietnam? / Don't get excited, Mac... He was in Vietnam 10 years ago on a business trip.

If you don't go, me and Mac and Charlie, we're gonna sell our portion of the bar. / No, we're not. / No, that's not happening. / Just back me up on this. / No, I can't really back you up.

I'm not an alcoholic actually. Yeah, I'm only here 'cause I got a little drunk and I threw a flaming bag of feces into a building and I burnt it down a little bit.

I wasn't trying to burn it down. I was trying to make the place smell real bad and get rid of this guy.

He was drinking a beer when he came in.

Always a bunch of clowns.

All right. Now the rest of you kids can go with those two losers right there.

Are you kidding me? Are... You guys are the Wildcats? Jesus Christ! Is anyone absent? Anyone tall? What are those, flip-flops?

Jesus, kid. Did you not wear shoes? You don't know? Did anyone else not bring shoes?

Yeah, it could be a guy who's never participated in any kind of sporting event ever. / Yeah, or it could be a girl. That's enough said, right?

Terrible. Take a lap. / God awful. Get goin'.

Do I look like I need to be on a diet? / I don't know. / Terrible. Take a lap.

See, kids, that's 18-0. Fundamentals don't mean shit if you got no strength.

Charlie, are you here to try to have sex with me? / I can't believe you could ask me a question like that in my time of need.

maybe I'll just get a little comfortable and I won't talk, and you can just kinda... / Just watch your feet on the... / I'll take my shoes off. / No. Just don't take your shoes off.

You ever... You ever owned a dog? Do you want a dog? This thing is cozy.

Quite frankly, I don't see what all the fuss is about. I banged her. I don't get it.

Dennis, you shouldn't be sleeping with your friends' girlfriends.

Elbows. Knees. Say it with me once. Ready? Elbows. Knees.

Don't get all high-and-mighty because you got a pantsuit. You look like Big Bird!

Whoo! Whoo! That's it! Gambling!

I want everybody to insert their safety pin into their wristband sharp side out. All right, if you come down right on the top part and smash down with all your weight you'll break the kid's foot in three places.

What if I get hurt? / That's a good question. Now as long as you hurt the other kid as bad or worse than he hurts you you'll have done your job, and I'll be proud of you.

Lesson number one: Winnin' ain't everything. Lesson two: Do you own a bike?

I only offered to be your sponsor so I could get closer to your friend Dennis.

You gotta... 'Cause what if I start drinking again? / That's a risk I'm willing to take.

All right. These are for you. And there's a steel toe in there. Don't be afraid to use it.

Hey, Chris, you in there? Chris, come on, buddy. Let's go. / What the hell are you doing? The game's about to start. / I got a new bike.

Charlie, what are you doing? / I volunteered. / Let's play some ball. / Oh, my God.

Yeah, I am drunk. You know why? I don't have a sponsor anymore!

You call this game! This game is over! / You got a problem? Button that lip! / Don't tell me to button my lip! / Is that a threat? / Yeah, that's a threat!

Get out of here! You're in the showers!