The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby

Mac calling An Inconvenient Truth 'boring' when Dennis says it's about the end of the world

Charlie: 'You're not good at that.' Dennis: 'I can do good. I am capable of doing good.'

Dennis mid-speech about being a good person gets cut off by discovering the baby

'Holy shit!' 'What?' 'There's a baby in this Dumpster.'

Charlie's escalating rant about throwaway culture from Big Gulps to babies

Charlie interrupting himself: 'I'd like to know whether or not I share a bed with my father!'

Frank's immediate reaction: 'Put it back. It doesn't belong to you.'

Mac's elaborate theory ending with 'You just gave this baby full-blown AIDS!'

Frank's aside: 'You see, he has no problem not calling me "Dad."'

Activist calling Mac a 'narc' and describing his 'cashmere sweater' and 'moussed-up, hair-sprayed coif'

Frank's aggressive 'I'll take that, hippie!'

Charlie's sword description: 'You could chop a camel right in the hump and drink all of its milk right off the tip of this thing!'

Frank calling it 'an Ali Baba sword!' with enthusiasm

Mac repeating the activist's insults about 'mainline, cashmere, moussed coif hairspray'

Mac: 'I think I just got punk'd out by a couple of hippies.'

Dennis: 'God damn this dumpster baby's heavy!' Mac: 'No, it's good for your back.'

Mac: 'Shit, this raising babies is easy.' then immediately 'Throw it in the bath.'

Dennis immediately wanting to 'kick back, grab a beer, and watch the Sixers' while Dee deals with crying baby

Dennis's passive-aggressive manipulation: 'You gonna guilt me into staying? Okay, I guess I have to stay. For the sake of Dumpster baby.'

Charlie: 'It's the sweet, sweet trash.'

Charlie: 'People don't appreciate their trash, Frank.'

Dennis describing regurgitating his lunch to feed baby birds

Dennis mentioning 'kine bud' to suddenly get the activists' attention

Charlie and Frank getting excited about 'Electrics!'

Charlie's coat protection theory: 'This is the coat that's gonna protect my other coat.'

Dennis's dramatic backstory about the waitress: 'The girl who ruined my life, by falling in love with my best friend and having sex with this guy right here.'

Mac: 'I haven't slept in 3 days. I don't have any thoughts anymore.'

Mac and Dennis deciding child stars 'are the happiest people on earth'

Mac's racist Mexican stereotype suggestions: 'pistols,' 'Mexican jumping bean,' 'chips and nacho cheese'

Agent suggesting changing 'the color of this baby's skin' as only solution

Dennis at tanning salon: 'We just want to put him in there for a couple of minutes. Just to get a base.'

Mac: 'Let us cook him, and we'll be out of your hair.'

Dennis: 'I guess the road to stardom is paved with hard knocks and orange assholes.'

Dennis proposing to chain himself to a tree to stop a bulldozer

Charlie's philosophy: 'Frank, we start getting rid of this, we're gonna just like the wasters out there.'

Charlie and Frank deciding to hide in the dumpster during rain

Frank: 'Charlie, I'm really sorry that I banged your girlfriend.'

Charlie's Mom: 'I had an abortion, it just didn't take.'

Charlie's Mom explaining Charlie 'popped out, happy as a clam' after failed abortion

Charlie's Mom: 'He would've made me throw you in a Dumpster.'

Ransom note: 'Taked baby. Meet at later bar, night or day sometime.'

Charlie's complex theory about Frank and the waitress's 'love child' and his 'half brother'

Dee's simple math: 'Charlie, the incident with Frank happened three months ago. It takes nine months to make a baby.'

Charlie's rant: 'You threw your babies away! And you threw your swords away! You threw your golf clubs and your tasty treats!'

Dennis telling chained Sage: 'I banged your girlfriend.'

Charlie's dramatic revelation: 'I'm an abortion survivor, Dad! I survived the abortion, Dad!'

Frank's dismissive response: 'First of all, it takes nine months to have a baby. That is not my baby. Second of all, your mother is feeding you a line of crap.'