Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person

Lil' Jeff. Lil' Joe. It's was, like, Jonathan, Little Michael. Lil' Kev? Little... Lil' Kev.

You never know though. He could have, like, a little hand or a little foot or something.

I doubt he'd want to call attention to that by calling himself Lil' Kev.

I guess his head was small, but his body was big. So this guy could have, like, a little hand and a giant body.

What's up, hos? I'd like you to meet somebody.

Girl, you silly. They ain't no clowns.

Charlie, I was gonna say his foot looks small.

Holy shit. No, that guy's retarded. Well, you're retarded.

There is no way I am dating a retarded person.

Yeah, but he might not be. Plus, he gives me things. Did you guys see this necklace? It's got diamonds in it.

Okay. So, if he can do it, why can't we? I can't argue that logic, man.

Why am I not in it? I have a great voice. You do have a great voice. You have an excellent voice. But the problem is you're into all that early '80s glam rock fem shit...

I mean, there's no bands out there with any musical ability.

Yeah, guy, move over six inches. Oh, yeah. Um, yeah, so I was saying... Yeah, that's it. Shut up. Soak it in.

Charlie, you're amazing. Hey, man, you're gonna be our ace in the hole.

Any way that I can be in the back of the stage... or, like, behind some kind of curtain?

You're not listening to what I'm saying, are you? Totally.

No. I'm Holland Oates. You're, like, Peter Gabriel. Hall and Oates is two separate people. No. Holland is his first name and Oates is his last name, dude.

Yeah, well, get him out of here, or I'm calling the cops.

I'm taking these.

Well, so what? He's, like, seven in this yearbook.

You're picking him up? He doesn't drive. Ooh. Uh, that's funny... 'cause people who aren't retarded usually drive. Retarded one. Normal zero.

Oh, lives with his mom. I think I'll be taking that point back. Looks like it's retarded one, normal one.

would you describe your son as a 'special' guy? No, you can't do that. Why can't I do that? Because he's her son. Of course he's special. That's an easy yes.

Are you the point king? You pick up points left and right? It's retarded three, normal one.

Man, that's retard strength if I've ever seen it. You know what I mean? Shut your mouth.

Well, then huff some glue, bro. Oh, I've been huffing glue, guys.

That's your good chair? Yeah. It's covered in bird shit. No. That's toothpaste, man. That's clearly bird shit. No, it's not. It's toothpaste. Do you even own a toothbrush?

We did use a credit card, man. I took it out of your wallet. My credit card number's down at the desk? Yeah. You mean we're smashing up a hotel room with my credit card down at the desk!

You mean we're smashing up a hotel room with my credit card down at the desk!

What? Glue is for huffing, dude. Get me the glue! It's a part of his process.

Your shirt's on backwards. What? Oh, snap! It is.

The Pecan Sandies. Isn't that a cookie? Yeah, it's a cookie, but it's got another meaning. What's the other meaning? It's a, you know... It's a... It's a sexual meaning.

not guys dressed like waiters who name themselves after desserts.

Is this a page from a coloring book? No, dude. That's 'Night Man.' Those are lyrics.

Night Man sneaky and mean / Spider inside my dreams

It sounds like a song where a man breaks into your house and rapes you. What, dude? Where are you getting that from?

One on top and one on bottom, One inside and one is out, One is screamin' He's so happy, The other's screamin' a passionate shout

We need a new front man. Right. You want someone with a good voice... Yes. Who's attractive... Yes. Someone with charisma. Yes. Well, I've got an awful lot of reading to do.

Don't be afraid of a little sex appeal, Mac. You look like a drag queen. I look like a rock god.

I was gonna ride this guy to the top. You know what I mean? He was gonna put me in one of his rap videos.

I was gonna ride this guy to the top. You know what I mean? He was gonna put me in one of his rap videos.

Look, the guy's not retarded, okay? What? Yeah. I was just saying that to mess with you. Why? Why would you do something like that? I thought it'd be funny.

I was just saying that to mess with you... I thought it'd be funny.

Oh, no, he's totally retarded.

Oh, no, he's totally retarded.

Day Man. Fighter of the Night Man. Champion of the Sun. You're a master of karate and friendship for everyone

You're a master of karate / And friendship for everyone

Prepare to experience sexual magic.

Gay!

You're not retarded, are you?

Let me tell y'all a story 'bout a girl I knew / A brokeass bitch with a gayass crew

This gravy train's leavin' so who's retarded now

I don't think he's retarded. Mmmmm.