The Gang Goes to the Jersey Shore

Frank burning photo albums containing cherished Jersey Shore vacation memories while the gang protests

Frank:'You sucked, okay? You just complained the whole time and ruined it for everyone else.'

Mac:It's just a bunch of sweaty Guidos getting hopped up on energy drinks and giving each other diseases.

Charlie:It's a magical place where people swim in the ocean and they get to ride on fun rides and they get to have their first kiss.

Frank:Now, this ocean, explain it to me. It's, like, it goes on forever?

Mac:Go to sleep, go to sleep.

Frank:I've never seen the ocean.

Frank:So, I woke up, like, halfway there, and then you just snuffed me out again, huh, Mac?

Mac:The guy at the front desk said there was meth lab explosion, so the hotel burned down.

The delayed roast of Dee's hair

Drinking tequila out of sunscreen bottles to avoid open container laws

Frank:Holy shit! Is that the ocean?!

Frank:What's on the other side of it there?

Mac:Europe.

Mac:Do not try and swim to Europe.

Dennis:I think these dogs play by their own rules.

Charlie:The trash that floated over from Europe

Ham soaked in rum as Frank's version of drinks

Frank getting stuck with a needle/syringe on the beach

Mac:We're in the steroid capital of the world, Frank.

Frank:Might you say we're getting hammered.

Frank:Might you say we're getting 'hammered.'

Mac:Oh, nice one.

Charlie witnessing homeless people having sex under the boardwalk

Mac:I have a special place in my heart 'cause I had my first kiss down here.

Charlie:Oh, God! Oh, no! No! No! No!

Mac:Two homeless guys banging each other.

Charlie:That's not magical. That's not romantic. That's your idea of romantic?

Mac:No! There are other kinds of romances that happen under here.

Mac:Where's the beach?

Mac:Frank, wake up.

Frank:What? What's the matter?

Mac:Where's the beach?

Mac:We're in the middle of the goddamn ocean!

Frank abandoning the raft to chase the floating rum ham

Frank:I'm sorry, rum ham.

Dennis and Dee's elaborate tragic backstory for a random woman

Random woman:You know I can hear you, right?

Random woman:You're not that far off.

Mac:Gargle some more water, bitch.

Frank:I've been gargling.

Mac:Well, don't snap at me.

Frank:Well, quit acting so bossy.

Frank:Frank suggesting cannibalism and keeping the knife

Frank:Maybe I am, maybe I ain't, rum ham.

Frank:It should have been you!

Getting rescued by the Guidos from Jersey Shore

Charlie:I got you something rare and beautiful.

Waitress:Oh my God, is this a piece of broken glass?

Charlie:Yeah, I found it in an alley. I think it's from a really nice bottle.

Waitress:This is the most romantic thing anyone's ever given me.

Dee smoking angel dust thinking it's weed

Dee:Did you rape me last night?

Waitress:Oh, my God. I was... I was on Ecstasy last night, Charlie. / You have to tell me everything that happened.

Charlie:Oh! Boy, you're really off the wagon, huh? Drinking, drugs...

Charlie:We drank ocean water. It was romantic.

Dee:That's a piece of a broken glass bottle.

Charlie:I guess that's just summer love.

Frank:I love the Jersey Shore.

Mac:Oh, you love it so much here, get in the goddamn car, you fat fat ass, fat fat ass.

Mac:There are far worse people in Jersey Shore than the cast of The Jersey Shore.