Sweet Dee Gets Audited

Charlie:Oh, 'cause I put a bunch of rocks in 'em.

Charlie:Well, you know how they were broken, so I was, like, filling them with ice. Now the ice machine's broken, so I'm just filling them up with rocks.

Mac:Oh, something just dripped in my mouth!

Frank:What'd it taste like?

Mac:Who gives a shit what it tasted like, Frank?

Dee:What's up, bitches?

Dee:My surrogate money came in. 30 G's, babies.

Dee:What the hell are you talking about? You did nothing for nine months.

Dee:Okay, I made all the contacts, I pushed that little monkey out and now I'm going to be claiming him as a dependent and getting tax breaks for the next 18 years.

Dee:Uh, you guys all better eat a dick, 'cause Sweet Dee beat the system.

Dee:Whatever god you're selling, I ain't buying it.

Dee:Letters? What is it, 1986? I don't do letters, lady. I'm all digital.

IRS Agent:Your license plate says '$CAMMIN.'

IRS Agent:Uh, no.

Dee:What do you mean no?

IRS Agent:Yes.

Dee:But now's not a great time, you know what I mean? Because I left him in the car-- with the window down of course.

Mac:Because you're sleazy and we don't trust you.

Dennis:Emotion will be suppressed and reason will prevail. Reason will prevail!

Dennis:You don't have to say it right now, because I'm just explaining to Frank that reason will prevail...

Mac:Reason will prevail!

Charlie:Like one that comes to mind is the dead dog.

Mac:What dead dog?

Charlie:The dead dog in the alley.

Mac:Okay... Uh, okay, sometimes dogs die.

Mac:I don't know how to express myself unless through anger and personal attack!

Charlie:I want a dog funeral!

Dennis:But that dog is turning into hot soup out there in the sun.

Dennis:Thick or thin?

Charlie:What the hell?! Thin limes?! People will choke! People will die!

Charlie:I'm going to put my thumb through your eye, you little bitch!

Dennis:That's two votes against two votes. A perfect example of when democracy has failed.

Mac:Are you having another baby?

Dee:I just got to find a baby by 3:00 in the afternoon.

Frank:How many babies you need?

Dee:Yeah. Just the one baby.

Frank:How long? Couple hours?

Frank:You want it for life or you...? Just a short-time baby.

Charlie:We are now the Pickle Party.

Charlie:Give me a beer with a pickle in it.

Charlie:If you're not as educated or as informed, what you do is you start your own party and you yell the loudest.

Mac:Reason will prevail.

Charlie:Pickles will prevail!

Charlie:Big. It should be the centerpiece of the whole room. I mean, it should dominate every conversation.

Mac:That's gonna be terrifying!

Charlie:It should be terrifying. That's how you know God loves you, Charlie.

Dennis:You're a piece of shit and you're ugly and you ooze sleaze and you're very, very ugly.

Frank:Wolf Cola, that's a bogus soda distributor. I made it up. It's fake!

Charlie:He's gotta be drenched in blood. I mean, covered in blood.

IRS Agent:You're sweating profusely.

Crying baby! Crying baby here!

Mac:Do you really want a kidnapping on top of all the other shit you got going on right now?

Dee:Very, very sick baby. Very sick baby!

Dennis:I like to call it my, uh, my God hole.

Dennis:What you really need to be doing is convincing the IRS that Dee's baby is dead.

This is dark. Darkest thing we've ever done.

Mac:Baby croaked.

Dee:I can't cry on command.

Dennis:Jesus Christ, Dee. I mean, how are you planning on becoming an actress at all? You can't make people laugh, 'cause you're not funny, you can't cry on command. What can you do?

Dennis:At times like this, I-I like to quench my thirst with a delicious Wolf Cola.

Dennis:There's nothing like that... to wash away the sorrow.

Dee:You were my special angel. And only angels can fly.

Dee:Are my eyes bleeding? Oh, my God, is there blood?! You son of a bitch!

Charlie:Before you could walk. Before you could talk. And before you had the chance to get together the proper paperwork

Dennis:Wolf Cola, everyone. It's the right cola for closure.

Mac:Prepare for your hearts to turn to stones!

Charlie:It's the dead dog from the alleyway. I was compromising.

Dennis:all in favor of going back to the old system of organized chaos, where emotion trumps reason every single time and we just yell at each other to get the shit that we want, raise your hands.