Recall Vote

Yesterday Jaden Smith came in, and he was like, 'Look, I want to quit the music/acting business and work here with you.' And I was like, 'Jaden, be serious. The world needs you. You have a gift.'

something he referred to as 'sympathy'?

Get a big old mug of hot chocolate, put on my thinking PJs, and get back to you.

We would also be interested in acquiring your thinking PJs.

No matter what happens, you will never acquire my thinking PJs or my YouTube blazer... Nonnegotiable.

Larry, everyone else was able to make it to the committee meeting on time. What's your excuse? / I was voting for you in the recall election.

This says that I'm in charge of the silly skeleton room, when really it should say 'the undead serial killer room.' Who do I talk to about changing this?

Plus, um... It's Kevin Pollack's birthday. That's something to focus on today. Who cares about the recall? It's Kevin's day.

Ron, can you put some more tiny marshmallow in my hot chocky?

Maybe you should try taking a walk... Out of my office.

Ron's in Bloosh! / What? / Ron's in Bloosh? / Ron is in Bloosh! / What is Bloosh?

She spent four months living in Kate Bosworth's pool house.

Annabel says that buying an island is the only real way to know that your goji-berry farm is pesticide-free.

Someone's getting a new leather jacket. / I don't want a leather jacket. / It's for me.

April, you seem depressed, and I would know. I spent most of last year being treated by Dr. Richard Nygard for my own emotional problems.

Every year, we would dress up like demons and egg Larry's house. / That was you? / Larry, please. We're having a private conversation.

Nobody wants Gengurch-family-themed Jack-o-lanterns. / Gayle likes them.

Why didn't we call it 'City Hall-oween'?

A poster announcing the new Lilith Fair concert. It's fake, but it'll buy us an hour.

We even have a secret hand signal in case we think she needs help. It's loosely based on the Klingon greeting salute. I just learned that. And if I had known, I would not have agreed to it.

Your brain is almost as perfect as your face.

Hey, Ron, baby, what are the hot deets on Bloosh? / Start over and speak differently.

Annabel, could I be more jels of your low-lights right now? I mean, O.M.Squee, talk about bangs envy.

Oof, you got a long way to go, Swanson. / I regret everything.

Too close to call, a real nail-biter, anybody's game... These are three phrases you won't hear tonight, as Leslie Knope has been voted out of office.

♪ I got-a the pizza, pizza time, it's-a pizza time! / Larry, everyone is miserable, and you are only making it worse.

I left her, like, 30 voice mails, and her outgoing message is just her sobbing and burping and crazy laughing.

What's up, fartwads?

This is really good. Why did I ever fight this?

Eat my shorts, Jabronies. Knope, out.

And you know what I think it needs, actually, is a papier-mâché li'l Sebastian!

I'm gonna go fall asleep on a bench.

The average woman worries about what she looks like in a bathing suit. So does my nanny. So I get it.

First of all, Mozambique cashmere is the new cast-iron stove.

my favorite fishmonger now makes house calls. / Thank God. / Finally.

Did that woman call my chair 'delicious'?

Scary stuff is invisible, Leah... Broken dreams, disappointment, achieving your greatest goal and having it all fall apart and knowing that you'll never climb any higher.

I'm gonna give you something sweeter than candy, Ryan... The truth. It's very possible that some of you have already peaked. It's all downhill from here, turkeys.

Just remember, kids, nothing gold can stay.

Yes, mostly you use it for sitting.

We don't do meals in my home. No, every two hours, we eat what I like to call a food tease, like an oat wedge or a seaweed lozenge.

I love your hair. / Oh. Thank you. / It's genetic and unattainable.

Bert Macklin is not a lifeguard. He's an FBI agent. / Really? That's even harder to believe.

Now I'm sad that I miss Andy and sad that I can't make fun of you to Andy.

I've failed you, both as a scary monster and a friend.

I was impeached when I was 18, and it was brutal.

Oh, God, did I peak when I was 18?

B-13 shots. Bird bath salts. Wha...? Champagne decanters!

Well, I make two a year, so maybe in six years.

Yes, and now they will be made by thousands of tiny Chinese hands.

He's a big fan of your... Whatever you call what you do.

Oh, no, I am not done with you, you wicked little so-and-so.

Hello, sir. We are sober. We would like to get tattoos on our bodies, 'cause we love each other.

Tattoos? This is a pawnshop. But, yeah, sure, I can do that.

I want a portrait of Eleanor Roosevelt, tastefully done, and then she has a very classy tattoo of Pat Benatar on her arm. And that's very subtle.

Okay, you said you wanted 'mouth queen'?

Good-bye, world traveler. Later, bro Heisen

My gravestone's gonna be a 60-inch touchscreen with a hologram of four mes singing End of the Road by Boyz II Men... But point taken.

Don't let her get a tattoo. / What the hell happened? / I couldn't help it. She's so cute when she's coming up with destructive ideas.

Never send a husband to do a best friend's job.

Ann, you poetic and noble land mermaid, you're right once again.

I flushed my car keys down the toilet.

But the truth is, I'm very much in love with Ann. / Okay, gross. The spell's broken.

Ron said there's nothing more valuable than my name, but he's not a businessman. I am.

Ann, it was very hard to capture your beauty, and, Ben, you make a sexy pumpkin... No surprise.