The One with Barry and Mindy's Wedding

After the scene... Mr. Beatty comes up to me and he says, 'Good actor. Bad kisser.'

That's like... Mother Teresa, not a good mother. Pfft.

What does Warren Beatty know about kissing? Heh.

Oh. Heh, heh.

Forget it. - Yeah, right.

I'll do it. I've kissed him before. I can do it again.

Good. Very good. Firm, but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend.

Over my dead body.

And I'll be using his dead body as a shield.

looking like something you drink when you're nauseous.

Yeah, well, you promised Barry you'd marry him.

Someone's wearing the same clothes they had on last night. Get a little action?

Whoo-hoo! Stud! ... Whoo-hoo! Geek!

You know how I tend to get a little defended and quippy? - Get out. - No. Please.

Stop it. You're freaking me out. ... Yeah. I don't like you this way.

I think my boyfriend's ever so dreamy.

Afraid to ask him? - Could not be more terrified.

Give Rachel another chance to dress like Princess Bubble Yum.

That's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grownups to cut it out.

Like a hound?

Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog.

I'm talking hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.

I'm sorry, we don't have your sheep.

You, I could eat you with a spoon.

She likes art... and I like funny words.

Are you the cutest? - I'm afraid I might just be.

It could be like a big, giant guy.

How do you not fall down more?

That's why you never see pigeons in sushi bars.

in the bathroom, I saw the window I crawled out of at my wedding.

Why didn't you tell me? - What could I do? Stand up and shout, 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!'

when I was in eighth grade... and I had to sing the 'Copacabana' in front of the entire school. Two lines into it, I ran and freaked out.

Ross, would you stop! You got me. I'm dating you.

In fact, I hardly expected to see so much.

You told me you didn't see anything. - I tell you a lot of things.

I'm Mrs. Dr. Barry Hunter, hyphen, Farber.

At our wedding, they were packing up the chopped liver about now.

After you ran out on your wedding... Barry's parents told people you were sort of... insane. - Insane? - From the syphilis.

What were they gonna say? You didn't love me anymore? Come on.

She wants to know what's wrong. - What's wrong? You're married! That's what's wrong!

What if the husband is the wrong guy and you are the right guy?

If you don't meet her, you'll kick yourself when you're 80... which is hard to do and that's how you break a hip.

No, wait! You have to take a shower because ew! And I'll get the... No, you have to answer her. Answer her first. No, make some coffee because it's too much.

Tall and tan, and young and lovely... Okay, one more, please. I'm gonna get it in this time.

But I want her so badly... I do. I have to have children. I'm sorry, I just do.

What? You hired the same band. I can't use the same speech?

Not a lot of women would have the guts to come back here. And even fewer who'd do it with their asses hanging out.

she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis.

Which, incidentally, worked out pretty well for me.

And once again, she is out of here! Okay, who had 9:45?

I promised myself I'd make it through at least one of your weddings.

Her name was Lola, She was a showgirl... With yellow feathers in her hair And a dress cut down to there...

Copa, Copacabana, The hottest spot north of Havana... At the Copa, Copacabana, Music and passion were always In fashion at the Copa

If kids is what it takes to be with you, then kids it is.

And if you hadn't have said... 'If I have to,' like, 17 times... then I'd be saying, 'Okay, let's do it.'

Yeah, because life's just that kind.

like a watched pot. If you keep looking at it, the door's never gonna boil.

Oh... my... God.

I've been feeling incredibly guilty because I wanna be a good friend. And damn it, I am a good friend. So shut up and close your eyes.

You are a good friend. The audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.