The One with the Morning After

What do you want to drink? Who's that? Nobody. Is that Mark?

Hey, come dance. What, are you married? Because that's okay.

Nice. No, we kind of broke up instead.

My God, Monica! It's on the ceiling! That's okay. This is more important than fruit on my ceiling.

You sure you need shoes?

You must be so happy! Yes, I am. One of the many things I'm feeling.

I have the spirit of an old Indian woman living in mine.

So then you know.

Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rain forest? They have the best stuff in there.

How dumb are you?

And that's what deathbeds are for.

You always have to think about the trail!

And Phoebe's friends with Rachel, and that's the trail! I did it!

Oh, my God, they should call it 'Pain-zine, now with a little wax.'

That's because their nerves are deadened from being so stupid.

Now aren't you glad we didn't start with the bikini strips?

You took my watch? I'm sorry. I do that.

You dog!

Monogamy is too cruel a rule.

Actually, no, we're not. Yeah, we are. No, we're not. Yeah, we are. No, we're not. Okay, we're not. Right. But we are.

I can promise not to tell her again.

You did a bad thing! Yes, I did. Very bad! Very bad. Very, very bad! I'm agreeing with you.

Was I not supposed to?

We were just waxing our legs. Off?

I think women just have a lower threshold for pain than men, that's all. I mean, come on, it's just a little wax.

Okay, Tin Man.

A mistake? What were you trying to put it in? Her purse?

Where did he put it?

I knew something had to be wrong because my fingernails did not grow at all yesterday.

He has sex and we get hit in our heads!

Okay. All right. How was she? What? Was she good? Don't answer that.

She was different. Good different? Nobody likes change.

Should we do something? Yeah. Never cheat on Rachel.

You sure had a hell of a time at the wake.

I think I'm falling in love with you all over again.

Wax the door shut. We're never leaving.

We could eat the wax! It's organic! Oh, great. Food with hair on it.

No, not the used wax. Because that would be crazy?

No anchovies. With extra anchovies. That's okay. I'll pick them off. And could you please chop some up and just put it right in the sauce?

You can have the last piece if you want. Well, I should think so. You slept with someone.

What if they don't? You think I need a new walk?

I think I need a take-notice walk. Are you actually saying these words?

I don't cheat, right? That's not me. I'm not Joey! Yeah, okay.

You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am? Yeah, you know, people can be so self-involved.

Is that your new walk? No. I really have to pee.