The One Where No One's Ready

Yeah, it's fat. I drank fat!

We have to be out the door at 7:40. / We have a half-hour. / That was four minutes ago.

How come you didn't come over earlier? / Because I'm a stupid, stupid man.

And that takes, what? Just 6 or 7 minutes? / Yeah. Once I figure out what I'm wearing.

Glass of fat?

You wanna hear it? / Am I in it? / After I thank everyone for donating to the museum... I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.

Thank you. I know, though.

All right, I took the quiz. And it turns out I do put career before men.

Well, it's not like I went to Spain.

Well, actually, the last place you were sitting was in there, so...

Are you gonna do magic?

That's funny. Change.

He could not, would not, want to wait.

I don't know. You might be the first one.

Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called, 'Get up!'

It's me, I'm coming over. What if I'm already there when you play this message? Is that too spooky?

You know what I did? I got dressed.

Not touching. Can't get mad! Not touching. Can't get mad!

You rotten boys!

Maybe he called to say you're obsessive and crazy?

I am so comfortable. / Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.

When I get back, it's Chair City. And I'm the guy... who's sitting in a chair!

Not 'out of that.' Not 'out' of clothes.

How could it not be breezy? No. Because you're in such a breezy place.

What a cool job. 'You have two new messages.' Please pass the pie.

You can't say you're 'breezy.' That negates the 'breezy.'

Now, she sounded breezy.

So in the words of A.A. Milne, 'Get out of my chair, dill-hole.'

That's right! I'm taking the essence.

I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep.

Yeah, which, by the way, Chandler, I would like back one of these days.

Hey, what you do on your own time...

Because I'm not wearing any underwear now.

I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.

What, are you gonna show me my clothes? / Hey, opposite... is opposite. / He's got nothing!

What are you supporting? / Christmas.

What time is it? It's 7:33. I have 7 minutes. I have seven minutes!

Yeah, pants! What an idea! Or better yet, go without pants.

Donald Duck never wore pants. But when he gets out of the shower... he always puts a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?

That bitch always hated me.

I'm not gonna go. / You're not gonna go? / No, I think I'm gonna catch up on my correspondence.

So I think that will accomplish the 'not going.'

I'm just, I don't know, not in a very museum benefit-y kind of mood.

Is it wrong that I was totally aroused by that?

Look at me! I'm Chandler. Could I be wearing any more clothes?

I better not do any, I don't know, lunges.

You could drink the fat.

Okay, vanilla milkshake. Just a vanilla milkshake... with chicken bits floating in it.

Let's see what else he'll do!

Maybe I'm getting my period or something. I don't know.

Oh, and by the way... What? I'm going commando too.

All right, that's it. Give me your underwear.