The One with the Football

No, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this.

Every year.

I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day.

And start drinking in the morning. Don't say I don't have goals!

Says who? Your mom? Ha-ha-ha. Yes.

No, no, no. You say that proudly!

She saw I was about to tag her, so she threw her big fat grandma-arm elbow in my face and just kept running.

The touchdown didn't count because of the spectacularly illegal, and savage, nose-breaking.

And was the curse lifted?

Wuss!

Wait. How we gonna get there? My mom won't let me cross the street.

That almost hit me in the face!

And then 'Tennilles.'

Why don't we just bunny up? What? Bunny! Bunny!

I'm your best friend. Sweetie, don't worry, you'll get picked.

You don't pick me. You're stuck with me!

Wow, just like in the pros.

So what do you guys really think of Chandler?

I thought you knew what you were doing. I thought you meant in life!

The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice.

No, no, actually, losers rhyme.

Great. Now the score's seven to almost seven.

Until we start to look very small.

Wow, you're, like, from a whole other country!

Her name is Dutch and also 'Margham.'

It just amazes me that you're still pulling stuff like this.

I heard that. Well, I said it loud.

Thanks, man, but it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself.

Math? You're giving me math?

Well, now you have two.

Hey, I am good at math!

I've been preparing for that my entire life!

Broken boobs! Ow.

Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater.

Dead leg!

You know I had swollen glands!

Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a two-by-four? Mm-hm. Okay, good.

When you went to the hospital for your nose, I swam into the lake and fished it out.

Tackled by a girl! Bet you don't see that every day.

Like the turkey, Ross is done!

Oh, what a great argument. Exhaling!

The Netherlands is this make-believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from.

Enough 'geography for the insane.' Let's play ball.

Yeah, for dating, general merriment, taking back to your windmill?

Why don't you have Captain Hook explain it to her?

You hear that? That is her truth, Mr. 'I'll Let You Have Her'!

I win! You suck! I rule all! Mini-wave in celebration of me!

I now find you shallow, and, um... a dork.

You just saved yourself a couple months of sex.

From now on, I get the dates, and you stay home on Saturday nights watching Ready, Set, Cook!

Come on, you hairy-backed Marys!

Oh, my God. You dated someone with a glass eye too?

The important thing is the Dutch girl picked me! Me, not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Good night!

Isn't there a 'national football league'? Yes, there is. They play on Sundays and Monday nights. Oh, shoot! I work Monday nights.

I don't know. I guess the other people just don't care enough.