The One with Phoebe's Uterus

We've been trying to get pregnant since we got engaged, to get a jump on things.

...and put it into another girl. We were wondering if you could be that girl.

I was thinking of a gravy boat.

Well, actually, we kind of need an answer to that one right now.

I don't know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black.

You said 'black.' Why would he want his blue blazer black?

Well, you know what I meant. You messed it up. You're stupid.

Yeah, actually, Joey, it's the Cretaceous Period.

But I can pronounce Jurassic.

Are you serious? You're thinking of having sex with your brother?

Ew! And, oh, no!

It's her egg and his sperm. I'm the oven. It's their bun.

You'll carry their child and get them a Sony PlayStation?

And that baby was, you know... a keeper.

You were more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.

My mom never gave birth. Oh! But my birth mom did!

Yeah, sure. It's not mine anyway. It came with the pants.

That is really nice... lying!

He's right. I'm totally lying.

I was going for the metaphor. / I was saying the actual words.

We share a wall.

Either he's great, or she liked to agree with him a lot. Loudly and a lot. All night long she'd agree.

But I'm just doing it for you guys.

This is a museum. No talking.

Right down here we have... a large foot.

I had time to finish glazing my nipples. / You go all out when you're expecting company. / I was working on my pottery.

Mostly nudes. It combines my two passions: pottery and erotica. Erottery!

No, no, I understand the pain. Don't hurt the puppy!

I really shouldn't have given you the puppy first.

Oh, it's time to take my ass out of the kiln.

Doctor? I didn't know he had a nickname.

Maybe it's crazy in a perfect world: a world without lab coats and blazers. But you not in a perfect world. You in a museum now.

I gave you my Snack Pack!

I eat by myself in the alley, because everybody hates me.

When we're in the audience, he doesn't talk but he does wave.

Why's Phoebe singing to Karl Malden?

She was like, 'I see your point. I'm all right with it.'

My God! Somebody's killing her in there!

You don't have to draw an actual... Whoa, she's hot!

Well, you know, sometimes that helps.

You might if it were like seven.

Oh, toes!

A one, two, three. A three. A five. A four. A three, two. Two. A two, four, six. Two, four, six. Four. Two. Two. Four, seven! Five, seven! Six, seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven! Seven!

You might even say he took me on a tour... of myself.

I'm Ross! I'm divorced and I have a kid!

I'm Joey! I'm an actor! I don't know squat about dinosaurs!

I'm Andrew. And I didn't pay for this pear.

I'm Rhonda! And these aren't real!

I flip the light switch on and off 17 times when I leave a room... or my family will die.

It's like Sophie's Choice. / You know, I never saw that. / Oh, it was only okay.

What else can I give them? A kidney!

He's so cute! He reminds me of my old dog, Tumor.

It's just, that was my puppy.