The One with the Girl from Poughkeepsie

Fifteen? Your personal best!

I sat near the door so she'd have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.

Were you so late because you were burying this woman?

How can she be great if she's from Poughkeepsie?

That joke would have killed in Albany.

Done! I did it. Who's stupid now?

Who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?

I want somebody!

You know, I want a man!

Let me tell you, it's been a long time since I've been flung.

I know what I'm giving you for Christmas.

I have a girlfriend. I'm happy. I no longer go out of my way to stop others from being happy.

And Ross was what? A lion tamer?

Maybe they meant to write 'Quiet, Bitch.'

What's the matter? Fine! Just trying to be nice.

I haven't been picked on this much since kindergarten. And they brought in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me.

Then they would all know who was boss.

It's a good idea. Can you waiter? Good enough to get fired. All right. You're hired!

That's why I got fired last week! Does Orson Welles direct commercials?

I'm not asking for me. I'm not gay. I'm not asking you out. I'm not gay. I didn't think you were gay. I do now.

By the way, that is her full name.

I don't know what that is, but let's!

I know, but it's so hard. Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!

What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel: Bagel, mail, jail, bail, cable.

Maypole.

But did he ever call you 'Budolph'?

Have I got the 50 guys for you!

Guys are signing over their 401Ks to me.

You work with robots?

Now, wait a second. You make food and robots?

No, the robots just work for them.

Does anybody have a problem with that? Yeah, lady. I do! I got a problem! I'll give you a problem! What will you do? Fire me? You bet your ass I'll fire you!

If she wasn't kidding, she's not fun. She's stupid and racist.

You're still on fire there.

Like father, like son.

You telling him I want a fling and me putting out... he's so going to get the wrong idea!

I'd prefer you didn't call me Joey. I thought it might be fun to try out a cool nickname.

Hey, Dragon!

And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.

Because you'll make up fake specials and make me cook them? Sure, that too.

Can't hear you!

He has a name. It's Dragon.

It's been a long time since I had... $327 plus $238!

What nice things? Nothing yet. They hate you, and I want to fit in.

Ross doesn't decorate his tree with floss... but he's not complaining.

It's the one with the cat.

It was a different joke. It wasn't that funny.

Prague? So much you don't know.

You graduated magna cum laude, right?

Actually, it's a hockey team. Angry Canadians with no teeth.

What is the matter with you? There is no good time to ask that question.

I don't speak English. You just did. I don't know what to tell you.

And covered in marinara sauce! Let me out!

Well, that's not true.

What if I dance covered in sauce? You think it's funny?

I bet myself that you had beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win!

No, but it's only a two-hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia.

I should have thought about my wife and kids... before I talked back to Chef Geller. It will be a lean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.

Lean, lean, lean!