The One with the Embryos

What the hell is that? Is that you? [ROOSTER CROWS]

Boy, you're really not a morning person. - Just back off!

It's the chick. She's going through some changes.

Well, the vet seems to think that she's becoming a rooster. We're getting a second opinion.

Well, I've been up since 6... thanks to somebody's dumb-ass rooster.

Yeah, especially not with all these knives and cookbooks around.

see if I'm ready... to have Frank and Alice's embryo transferred into my uterus.

Oh, I can check that for you.

She's mad because I know today's her laundry day... and that means she's wearing her old-lady underpants.

I can check that for you.

You can only eat Tic Tacs in even numbers.

You're good. These are not.

Challenge extended. - Deal. - Challenge accepted.

All right, we'll start with... apples. We'll be starting with apples.

I got it. Scotch... tape.

Well, we used up theirs last night making scary faces.

Cough it up. Pay the piper.

It's not like he has a job or a child or a life of his own.

Oh, I knew it. I knew it. I felt really thick this morning.

Five? Okay, where am I giving birth... in a hospital or a big box under the stairs?

I was thinking, what are the odds... if, like, you stuff, like, 200 of them in there?

Sweetie, now... she's a woman, not a gumball machine.

That's a lot of pressure on me and my uterus.

Why doesn't she get drunk? That worked for a bunch of girls in my high school.

Animals dressed as humans.

Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance.

His legs flail about as if independent from his body.

Althea? What are you doing? - Took a shot. Shooting with Althea?

I'm afraid the TV Guide comes to 'Chanandler Bong.'

Actually, it's Miss Chanandler Bong.

I'm hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months.

Oh, and also, next time you see me, if I'm screaming, don't worry. That's what's supposed to happen.

Viva Las Gaygas.

I majored in Lightning Rounds, all right?

Oh, I'm so confused as to what we've been doing so far.

How about if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster.

But if we win... we get your apartment.

Look at my hand. Why, do you have the answers written on there? No. Steady as a rock.

Big Fat Goalie.

Weekend at Bernie's.

[Monica's shocked reaction to pencil location]

Okay, everyday use. - Fancy. - Guest. - Fancy guest. - Two seconds. - Uh, eleven?

Fourteen? - No, 19. Thanks, man.

Oh! Oh! He's a transponster. That's not even a word!

Sure I can. Standard Shotgun Rules. I'm in sight of the room and I called it.

Bet you can't guess what color my tonsils are. I bet the apartment.

I mean, they are, like, literally putting all their eggs in my basket.

Well, the doctor says it takes a couple days. But, I mean, my body's always been a little faster than Western medicine, so...

You bet on a bet, and if you lose, you lose the bet.

Chanandler Bong. Come on, we steal that TV Guide every week.

Yeah, good. I'm gonna let gravity, you know, do its jobs.

This is a girl's apartment. That is a boy's apartment. It's dirty and it smells.

And now I have got the steady hand.

How'd it go? - I lost our mattresses.

Are you in there, little fetus? In nine months, will you come greet us? I will buy you some Adidas

Hey, don't mix those up. You could really ruin that lollipop.

So, um, you feel like taking a test? There's only one question.

You know what? You are mean boys who are just being mean.

My sister's going to have my baby!

[Both screaming at something in drawer]

But maybe if we keep that drawer shut, it'll die.

Did you see the size of the closets? I can't believe we live here.