The One Where Ross Can't Flirt

Made a few calls, pulled some strings...and they'll seat us if we both have chicken and don't get dessert.

If that was true, gym class would've been more interesting.

Oh, it's in the back. The duck pissed him off. He said that eggs came first.

First of all, the impression? Uncanny.

But don't you think it should be called Order and Law?

No, because they arrest the guy and then try him. Yeah. Don't get me started on that.

Sounds like someone wants to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl.

Ha, ha, Ross, we broke up two years ago. You've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.

We don't need her measurements. Ha, ha. Pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni.

I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?

And when she does, I will turn on the charm 'au' Ross.

Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English. Ha, ha, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I weighed, like, 27 pounds when I was born.

Oh, uh, Joey's grandmother's right there. The one who speaks English? The one who doesn't.

Wow, Pheebs, you speak Italian? I guess so.

Oh, what, you want both of them? Ha, ha.

No. No. You lent me Monica's earrings? I'm not allowed to borrow her stuff. Why not? Because I lose her stuff!

If you said, 'Big lima bean bubbling up,' would she know the difference?

Oh, I just can't watch. It's too scary. It's a diaper commercial. Oh, yeah, well, you know me. Babies, responsibilities...

Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better, uh...I happen to like 8-year-old boys.

What? Oh, I mean... No, no, no. The, uh...Your hair. Before. Your hair. You said you thought your hair looked like an 8-year-old boy's...and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.

You understand, I don't actually like 8-year-old boys.

Uh, no. No, it bothered me when he slept with other women.

And thank you for that. But I never had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.

Oh. No, you're right. We met, you flirted and then, bam, nine years later, you had me.

And not the one on the menu.

Okay, that is the one we already have.

Oh, what is it? Uh, they cut me out of the show.

Not likely. Because you see that body bag right there? Yeah. I'm in it.

Oh, uh, soon. I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! No. Sam Waterston! Oh, no, no. That's me. That's me! No. Sam Waterston. Crime Misdemeanor, Capricorn One. She doesn't know 'hello,' but she knows Capricorn One.

All right, I already didn't gave them back to you. That's what I said.

Wait a minute, Chandler has a jewelry box? Okay, we have 10 minutes. Do you want me to get into that now?

You and those, uh, vegetables have a real, uh...thing going on, huh?

Do you like it? No. That would be, 'Why are you being cute?'

Oh! I did not get that.

Okay, let me get this straight. It's okay for you to flirt, but not for me? Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up.

All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep. All guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.

So, you're old and small.

All right, well, I mean, what can you do? If you lost it, you lost it.

That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff! First it's my jewelry. If it's not that, it's my sweater. And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses.

Gas? Wow, ha, ha. Intense.

If this is the way all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem.

They put that in. What? The gas is odorless. But they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.

Oh, the humanity.

Was I talking to her about gas? More so than anything else.

Hey, hey. Don't worry about it. In nine years, she and I will be right there! Ha, ha.

What else do they add smell to?

Oh, my God! That was flirting? Yeah. Wow.

Well, we have seven people and 10 pizzas. What do you think?

All right, back off! I got a gun! I'm not afraid to use it. Oh, Joey. That's right, Nonnie. You couldn't have at least changed your shirt?

And she's supposed to buy this?

What about these? Do these look the same? Definitely. Not as each other.

My boyfriend really does have great taste.