The One with Rachel's Assistant

Oh, yeah? Well, how come I can't get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?

That was one of the worst things ever... and not just on TV.

You got lighting last time. Lighting is mine.

I'm just gonna press my breasts up against him.

You mean behind my back?

If you're starting another story, at least let me finish mine.

It's the same story. It's really long.

These really are the 'days of our lives.'

I got a head rush from standing up too fast.

How did I do? Was this okay?

Hi, yes, I'm sorry. The models are down the hall.

Tag Jones. Go on. That's it. That's my whole name.

...two whole summers at TGI Friday's.

Would you stand up?

No, no, no.

We love and respect one another too much.

When I say 'restaurant,' I mean a guy, a hibachi and the trunk of his car.

No, he visited a town a little south of throw up.

Some of the employees decided to rename the park... the 'Crappiest Place on Earth.'

That's it? I gave up my Disneyland story for that?

That's right. You lose, sucker!

Please still marry me.

He's so pretty I want to cry.

Look how pretty.

Dumb, old, perfect-for-the-job Hilda.

Don't show this to Monica.

Funny, these halls look smaller than they used to. It's a different building.

Who looks more like me than me, right?

This is one star whose hoop... This is the star the hoop... This hoop... I was Dr. Drake Ramoray!

So I guess I shouldn't put 'good at noticing stuff' on my résumé.

Really? No, handshake.

Always nicer to hear than, 'Oh, crap, you again.'

Did you not understand the story?

They're just... They're ground beef smileys.

Excuse me, Mr. Mexico.

It's not like I said, 'What would make this ride more fun?'

I should be laying down papers for you.

Now, you're thinking 'He's not the type to go to bars and make out with girls.' And you're right. He's not the type... to go to bars and make out with girls.

In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy.

So hard we had to throw out your underwear again?

Whatever, dude. You kissed a guy.

No, because goats can't talk.

Canceled! Like they're taking it off the air? We're not even shooting them anymore?

Ross came in fourth and cried!

I welled up.

...so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box she'd made.

It's hard for some people!

I'm sorry, I couldn't think of any more for Ross.

Whatever, dude. You kissed a guy.

You? An actor? That's madness!

Really?

So you hired yourself a little treat, did you?

Hey, cute assistant. What's his story? Is he... Gay? Yeah.

Surprised your big head could fit through our small halls.

Time to kiss a guy?

What are you laughing at, Pampers?

Then I'd steer clear of Phoebe.

Yeah, she's gay.