The One Where Joey Dates Rachel

Did we get paper towels? You mean the thing we went to the store for? Nope.

What's your first? I don't remember the name. Well, what did it do? You'd put a quarter in, pull some handles and win a candy bar.

A vending machine? Don't feel bad for me. I won every time!

Do you think he saw us, or can we still slip out?

I'm not sure a court-ordered detox program was the break Professor Newman was waiting for. But, hey.

You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex.

Not that sitting around worrying about giving birth isn't fun.

I'll take your mind off of childbirth, and C-sections and baby heads stretching out... Okay, I'll go with you.

I knocked off all your top scores. How sad.

Sorry, I couldn't hear you over all the winning.

You think it's stupid because you suck. I don't suck. It sucks. You suck.

Why do you want to play this game? It doesn't spit out a Clark Bar.

No, no. This is a girl fight. I'm hoping it will turn into love-play.

Wow, it's amazing how well I can play with you yapping around my head like a Chihuahua.

Well, half a brownie. Actually, it's just a bag. It's a long walk from the flower shop and I felt faint, so..

But I have morning sickness and I have on underwear that goes up to... there.

So nice place you got here. Foosball. Pizza box. Oh, a subscription to Playboy. My kind of woman.

Must be tough to keep your hands off him. I'm pretty sure he's gay. No! No, he's not! Why are you trying to ruin the game?

Dude, that's not gonna happen.

I'm Professor Geller. So to sum up.. I'm Professor Geller. Good job today.

You know what? Bring her both. And I'll have the same.

I'm sorry, I couldn't even get through that.

If you add, 'This is embarrassing. I just want to have a normal life.'

Oh, my God! Wow, that was fantastic! I almost leaned in. Really.

Boy, Rach, you're lucky you're hot.

Nice move! 'Where'd you grow up?' So simple.

Now you're watching me walk away. Yes, I am! So simple!

Clearly not shower or shave.

They should change the name to 'Ms. Chandler.' Although, I hope they don't.

I played for eight hours. It'll loosen up. Check out the scores. Also, look at the initials. They're dirty words.

They only give you three letters, so after A-S-S, it is a challenge. But clearly you're up to the task.

If you don't clear this off, you won't get one of those from me.

He's 7, not stupid. Have you talked to him lately?

This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM chip! Wow. The dirty words and the computer talk. This is just the coolest you've ever been.

Pull my finger. My hand is messed up!

Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Ross, if you had to, who would you punch? Chandler? Yeah, but I don't know why.

Did you see the wine come out my nose? Joey, I think everybody saw it.

I normally wait till my date leaves, but I'm ripping into the swan. I'm gonna suck on the cellophane from that brownie.

Like a moth to a flame, I tell you.

I didn't say raspberry before, did I?

Then move into his body, just for a second. And then I make this sound:

Oh, yeah. That would work, yeah.

[Awkward silence after their intimate demonstration ends]

When did people stop understanding 'Get out of my way'?

Who am I, Rockefeller?

Your what? You've seen it, The Geller Yeller.

I just can't be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars.

Have you ever sat through Citizen Kane? Yeah, it's really boring. But it's, like, a big deal.

Oh, my God. You did too? It freaked me out. What was that? I don't know. I'm kind of thinking it was the lobster.

You don't want to look in my hamper.

Well, you're just a little bitch, aren't you?!

But if you don't get off soon, I will cut you.

By age 7, kids have already seen orgies. Was it just me?

dinosaurs ain't never coming back.

This is so embarrassing. I just want to have a normal life. Wow, that's an expensive bottle of wine. It is? That's funny, my fans don't normally do that.

And then he turned around and it was Stephen Baldwin!

No! You son of a.. Phoebe?! Oh, hi, Ben. No, don't look at the machine!

Yes! What is wrong with this dog? Did you get to the part where Cujo throws himself at the car? No, seriously, what's wrong with the dog?

I never thought I'd say this, but I hope this dog dies.

Terrified.

Here.. and.. here. Now, as for the hydrosaurs..