The One with the Cooking Class

That's no way to sell newspapers. Try, 'Extra! Extra! Read all about it!'

I still remember my first good one: 'Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal.'

Reaction beat: Monica arrives to see all the newspapers and assumes they mean good news

But the good news is, no one in a two-block radius will ever know.

What about the rest of Manhattan? - Yeah, they all know.

You don't think that, um, 'the chef's mahi-mahi was awful-awful' is bad press?

I'm not saying this because I'm your friend, I say it because it's true. Your food is abysmal!

Funny you should mention diapers.

I'm just kidding. You can go pee.

Sure, I can hang out till I have to meet you.

And people say you don't pay attention.

You cooked him?

You really do live in your own little world, don't you?

We were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends, and then there was one drunken night...

Or, yes, stranger, we'd like this delivered, please.

That's one of the reasons why we are not a couple.

Oh, don't get too worked up over it. It sounds like he's a doctor, but he's not.

Oh, my God. Standing at a cash register, I'm holding a credit card, and I'm bored.

A paleontologist who works out. You're like Indiana Jones.

I am like Indiana Jones.

Ahem, a whore.

Oh, my God. Well, the idea-- A woman flirting with a single man? We must alert the church elders.

I mean, here I am, about to pop... and he's out picking up some shopgirl at Sluts-R-Us?

Is that a real place? Are they hiring?

Hey, Phoebe. Fatty.

When I first met you, you were like: [BABBLING] I was like: Shh!

It's just, like, you're trying too hard, always making jokes. You just-- You come off a little needy.

Chandler, I'm not gonna lie to you. But I am gonna run away from you.

Either eat it or be in it.

I'm torn... between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating.

Thattgirl! Eh? We should get out of here, there's a new class coming in.

Monica, you go to the head of the class!

Ah, it must have been obvious, since it was the only thing left in your store.

I'm just gonna put this back in my pocket and pretend that didn't happen.

No, you're a horny bitch! No, you're a horny bitch! No, you're a horny bitch!

You know, because of Indiana Jones. Not because I'm into S&M.

I'm not into anything weird, you know? Heh. Just normal sex.

So you had a good day, huh? Big commission, picked up a daddy.

Oh, and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic. Although you missed a button.

Hi. Come on in. I'm Regina Phalanges.

Well, you should meet my Uncle Bada.

I'll let myself out.

When you say 'use,' do you mean 'eat as a pre-cooking snack'?

Cheese makes me thirsty.

I had to ask what it was called when the water makes those bubbles.

I think you'll find if I work here that I don't micromanage. I don't shy away from delegating.

What I do do...

Nice sidestep on the 'do do' thing. - Hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of foil.

I know you all hate me, and I'm sorry, but I don't care.

I got an A? In school? Hey, I'm a dork!

Oh, relax. It's not a courtroom drama.

But there'll be 30 people under you... so you can dump a certain amount on them.

And then it was really hard to side step that 'duty' thing.

Duties? Doodies? Poo?

Oh, uh-huh, uh-huh, coffee, a little rub-rub-rub under the table?

Of course you did. You'd date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones.

Did you get a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?

I want you to be at my constant beck and call, 24 hours a day. I'm very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.

You're pressing the baby into my bladder... and now I have to pee. Sorry.

Oh, Rach, I was just messing around. Heh.

The first A I've gotten since 7th grade and I didn't have to sleep with the teacher.

Yeah, this was a stupid idea.