The One Where Rachel Is Late

I'm coming soon to a theater near you. I'm in THX. I'm unsuitable for children!

I started that! / I thought I did!

I love taking limos when nobody died.

That's right. Still no baby.

You.

Like you haven't done enough.

I wish I were a sea horse. Because with sea horses, it's the male. They carry the babies. And then also, um, I'd be far away in the sea.

That's a great story. Tell it while you're getting me some iced tea.

Oh, God, get out! Get out, get out, get out!

Do you want me to sit on you? Because I'll do it.

I sold four on eBay. You'll be sitting next to HotGuy372.

What time do you want to pick me up?

I would still like to be acknowledged. Because I'm pregnant, I'm invisible?

Definitely not invisible.

Well, then somebody's snoozing.

I haven't seen this dress. / Star in a movie.

Phoebe. Phoebe. Phoebe.

Phoebe,Phoebe,Phoebe.

So you're never actually going to pay me back?

I don't think you're comprehending just how slutty this dress is.

Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress.

I'm gonna go shave. Ahem. / Yeah, well, I'm gonna go, uh, spit.

You hold her nose, I'll blow in her mouth and the kid'll just... Out of her.

One hundred thousand dollars. / How about 50 bucks? / I'll call Zurich and move some money.

Ahem, no one's here.

A little tall. / What? / Would you crouch down a bit so that I look taller?

Yeah, like 50 bucks.

I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks my bladder is a squeeze toy.

That's interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?

Until then, General Grant, why don't you set up camp right there?

People ask why we're not together. I just don't know what to tell them.

Good God, man. Don't anger it.

Uh-uh, pal! Don't call me 'Mommy.' It's bad enough you call your own mother that.

I'm actually with her on this one.

When Carol was pregnant with Ben... were you this irritating?

Well, then, you must have a natural talent for it.

Seriously. Breathe louder, Ross. That's great.

We should ask the doctor if she even knows... how to deliver a baby that's half human, half pure evil!

You're nice to her. She has the drugs.

You've got to be kidding me.

I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.

There was no kangaroo! They didn't take any of my suggestions!

But someone thinks that that will open up a can of worms.

Do it!

It's been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it. Get yours.

If Ross isn't willing, he's not the only guy you can have sex with. You could borrow Chandler. Chandler is good.

While she's been going through this hell, you've been making money?

I'm miserable. I may as well make some money out of it.

I don't want your... / Ah, ah, ah. We're doing this!

Then there was the second set. The infamous 'booger' headshots.

Which we're still keeping under our hats.

Which, after 20 hours of lessons, still came out Jamaican. / The South will rise again, man.

How do you clear this thing?

By the way, you don't want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.

Speaking of hot, watching you do that... really makes me want to have sex with you.

Make love'? What are you, a girl?

Always a great way to get into a man's pants.

Think of me as a ketchup bottle. Sometimes, you have to bang on the end of it to get it to come out.

I love when you talk dirty to me.

Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bend over and get it.

Come on, wuss. Make love to me.

You'd think the jalapeño would clear up your sinuses, but no!

I think my water just broke. / I am good!

How did you know that? / You know everything! / Wait. I bet you the baby is over 7 pounds.

I bet you it has hair! I bet you it's a girl. / We know it's a girl. / I'll give you really good odds.