The One Where No One Proposes

Hey look! It's my good friend Ross. Hey Ross... Hey and look he brought flowers. Thanks Ross, but I'm really more of a candy guy.

You're weird today.

Joey, can you give us just a minute? / No. / What? / Oh, I'm sorry. I meant no.

Oh, Aunt Liddy's coming? That means we get five dollars each!

He pulled a quarter out of my ear!

Oh and I need to talk to you. / About what? / To see if know what these guys are talking about.

What about Ben? / Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter.

Oh sure okay, you can touch yourself in front of us but you can't talk to Rachel. / What?! When have I ever touched myself in front of you guys?

Oh please! Just before when you were asleep in the lounge!

That Armenian family was watching you instead of the TV.

That was you?! I thought it was Jack!

As we all are at some point during the day.

This is gonna kill him! You know how much he loves to propose!

Now let's not get carried away.

Honey, we've been over this. I need to be facing the other way.

Yeah okay, but no foreplay. / Deal!

Dad seriously!

I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.

The puppet master gets tired people.

Although he does play with himself in his sleep. / I can't say that I'm surprised.

It can't be me, I'm standing right here.

Y'know what? I don't like you without mom.

Dear Lord.

Y'know, I don't really know her.

Are you kidding me?!

I don't know! Maybe she's crazy!

although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier.

Are you lying? Is this like that time you tried to convince us that you were a doctor?

I am a doctor!

Y'know Ross doctors are supposed to be smart.

Huh, I might be losing interest in this.

Oh, what beautiful lukewarm sentiment.

Did I?

it does sound like something I would do.

He didn't make it to one of piano recitals, but this he sees!

It wasn't fun?!

It was a simpler time.

Well, get back in there! I'll guard the door!

That's how I got my bad hip.

That's funny, this conversation's how I got the bullet hole in my head.

You up to the task sailor?

Seriously sir, my brains? All over the wall.

Well, now's a good time. I'm on my way to have my ears cut off.

It's-it's so inappropriate. No, it's worse than that. It's wrong. It's… It is bigger than mine!

Days of Our Lives, thank you very much.

Sure. / Sure? / Yeah, I mean whatever.

No! She had the ring on, she seemed so excited, and then she took her breast out.

Joey, you have to tell her what's going on! And what did it look like?!

I didn't look at it. Stupid baby's head was blocking most of it.

Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there if you want to check that out.

Poor baby, you're so tired.

I can come back.

Whoa! Hey! Whoa-whoa-whoa, you saw her breast?! / I'll tell you about it later. Be cool.

Dude, step up! I proposed.

There's a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.

Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down!

Man! That kid is going to town!

Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back?