Charlie Work

Charlie:Frank, pick up! Pick up, buddy, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up!

Charlie:Oh, shit.

Mac:No time to explain it to you, you wouldn't get it anyway.

Carmine's: A Place for Steaks.

Charlie:Yeah, we get a passing grade because I bust my ass to make sure that happens, okay?

Charlie, we found a loophole in the system. Yeah, it's a closing loophole; It involves airline miles and points.

Charlie:Frank, Jesus Christ, man, where are your shoes?

Frank:I lost 'em in the bathroom.

Charlie:It's not hilarious, it's just a stool with a nail sticking out of it.

Dee:Yeah, and when it pokes their butts, they scream, 'cause they just got a nail right in the butt.

Charlie:You flushed your shoes down the toilet? Why would you do that?

Frank:It's an anxiety thing, Charlie.

Frank:Flushing things gives me control. It's a thing.

Charlie:That's not a thing.

Charlie:Oh, son of a bitch. Did you flush your shirt?

Frank:Yep.

Mac:like, how can a whole group of people have the same idea at the same time? What, do they just say it all at once? It's ludicrous.

Charlie:What happened to the glory hole cover?

Mac:I took it off. I-I thought you... you put it on there by accident.

Frank:Oh, shit! This thing's tits!

Frank:Are you sure? Maybe he's a racist, too.

Charlie:Dee, shut up, shut up, shut up! That's, uh, G-sharp. Okay, I got it, I got it.

Charlie:actually, what I do is I block the vents to the furnace and that fills the basement with dangerous gases. Drives the rodents away.

Dennis:Mac was doing that thing where he tries to casually bring something up to me, like I don't notice. Come to me like a man!

Delivery Guy:You want to eat here?

Delivery Guy:Uh, yeah, you know, it's a long drive back to Ohio and I figured I was gonna be here a while, unloading all these steaks.

Delivery Guy:Four hundred? You ordered 4,000.

Charlie:You guys used Frank's credit card, you bought a bunch of airline miles. You used those airline miles to purchase 400 steaks...

Mac:you know, we basically had already explained it to you, so...

Charlie:Or that Dee's oversized fingers could've accidentally pressed 'zero' again when she ordered the steaks online.

Delivery Guy:Uh, this is an alley. I think I'd rather just sit inside.

Alan was let go on account of his leniency.

Health Inspector:I assume all the toilets are in working order.

Charlie:Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I wouldn't bother checking if I were you.

Do I smell cheese?

Dee:Oh, no, he wants a turkey burger.

Charlie:What? Why?

Dee:I don't know. I offered it to him.

Charlie:He looks like a turkey burger kind of guy?! Oh, my God, Dee

Charlie:Don't ask questions, just moan a bit, after a couple of moans say, 'I'm sorry.'

Charlie:Hey, buddy, how about a courtesy cough or something next time?

Frank:I'm painting a shirt!

Delivery Guy:The steak is burnt to shit. It's not even what I ordered.

Delivery Guy:this is the worst restaurant I've ever been to.

Charlie:Give this to Frank. Tell him G-sharp. Then you got to paint him head to toe in black.

Dee:Why would I do any of that?

Charlie:I said bar, bar twice!

Charlie:A bit excessive? Yes, I know, but I'm a little anal when it comes to securing the perishables.

Dennis:All right, all right, all right.

Sandy:The regulation is exactly six feet and you were at five and a half.

Charlie:Oh, that goddamn bitch!

Sandy:Congratulations.

Sandy:Oh, my... You got me with the whole Dumpster thing!

Health Inspector:However, you do have an amazingly clean bar and therefore I'm giving Paddy's Pub the highest possible grade.

Oh, yeah, we don't, we don't give a shit about that.

Mac:We always pass, okay? We never have a hard time passing. It's not a big deal. Nobody gives a shit. You didn't do anything that special.

Dee:That's how you make a joke stool right there! That's... Ow, Charlie!

Dee:That's how you make a joke stool right there! That's... Ow, Charlie! Did you do that?

Charlie:Yeah, you know what? I think I did.