Psycho Pete Returns

Wait, so you just painted your butt blue and nobody noticed the hole in your pants?

Yeah, it worked, it worked.

It's a good trick.

Dee:The guy you went to high school with, who killed and ate his family?

Mac:Yeah... Yeah, yeah, yeah... but don't get all hung up on that, man

Mac:they unscrambled his brain and he's, like, good now.

Dennis:Yeah, they sorted him out, they sorted him out.

Frank:I lived with these maniacs in the loony bin. There is no curing those psycho bastards... but once your brain's a piece of shit, it's always a piece of shit.

Dennis:What'd you do, did you, like, yank it out in a fit of rage? That's pretty psycho...

Pete:No... no, it's just genetics.

Mac:Aw, genetics, so psycho...!

Pete:struggling with my weight for a while now, yeah; M-meds don't help.

Mac:Oh, oh, yeah, uh... A psycho struggle!

Pete:Actually, you know, j-just turn the music down, j-just a bit.

Mac:Remember, like, you used to go right up to babies in carriages and just scream in their faces, you know, they'd cry...?

Pete:I-I don't feel good about that stuff. I actually regret a lot of the stuff we used to do.

This guy sucks now.

Oh, my God.

Like, I don't like him at all.

No, no, he's, like, not psycho at all.

No, it's like Mild Mannered Pete.

More like Boring Pete.

Frank:Sorry about the stuff I was saying about, uh... the mentally insane... earlier. Did that anger you? ...I didn't mean to call... psychotic people 'mutants.'

Mac:the main problem with people going to these state-run loony bins is the separation between church and state... You spend most of your time talking to a therapist, instead of a priest.

a priest is gonna let you off the hook for all the things that you've done...

Mac:He needs to be absolved, so that he can go psycho again.

Holy shit, holy shit!

Oh, shit, what happened? Put it on, put it on.

Put it back on! Put it back on! What the hell happened to your face?!

Cricket:This happened to me when I was locked in your burning apartment at Thanksgiving.

No, you weren't there for that...

I don't think you were there, man.

Dennis:Why would we want you at Thanksgiving dinner? Especially looking like that, you would've freaked everyone out

Cricket:I don't need to suck him or anything or... let him inside me?

Cricket:if he wants up inside me, it will cost you a whole sixer, I mean, that... I got my dignity.

Frank:so they just cut all the loonies loose?

Dennis:What? How could they do that? That's-that's insane!

Dee:I guess it was either that or raise our taxes.

Frank:What?! Raise my taxes? Come on. How much do these vultures need? I already pay a ton in taxes... I'm not paying more in taxes, Dee. I won't do it. Don't speak of it again!

Frank:It's okay, Froggy. I'll keep you moist.

Frank:Th-This is the nitwit school I was shanghaied to when I was a kid... That one that you had your mommy tell them to tell you that you didn't have donkey brains.

Frank:One time, we escaped and they chased us down with those big nets they use to catch dogs.

Charlie:Did you grow up in a cartoon?

they used that money to open up the Eagles' new practice facility...

That makes sense.

That's kind of a no-brainer...

you can't have our guys out there twisting ankles...

A man of Shady McCoy's abilities, he needs a proper landing strip.

Dennis:Sophie's choice, huh?

Mac:Mm-hmm.

Charlie:Oof. Go, Birds.

Mac:Go, Birds.

Pete:Is that a glory hole?

Cricket:Yes. It is, my son. But it'll cost you a whole sixer if you want to unburden yourself in that way.

Mac:he used to, um, scream in baby's faces.

Cricket:Well, that's just funny. That was just plain funny...

Dennis:Okay, no, you know what he used to do? He used to gather, like, cats and dogs... and then put them into like a little room and, like, have 'em battle it out.

Cricket:That's just cats' and dogs' nature, to fight, so I don't see a problem with that.

Mac:All right, um... he used to, um, scream in baby's faces.

Cricket:Well, that's just funny. That was just plain funny.

Mac:I know, I know, I know.

Cricket:They'd be all freaked out...

Cricket:also, he murdered and ate his family.

Mac:Right.

Mac:What?

Mac:Jesus Christ! That guy's a goddamn maniac! I'm not absolving him!

Cricket:there's a storm brewing on the inside... He's straight-up possessed by the devil... He used to be fun crazy... then the devil was like, 'I like this dude! I'm gonna get involved!'

Mac:Get the demon, the goblin, the ghoul and then you got Pete.

Mac:Well, no, no, no, no. There's no goblins, there's no ghouls, it's just demons, okay?

Cricket:Well, they're all made up, so...

Dennis:I'll act crazy and then he'll prescribe them to me.

Your bad acting will only confuse him and it will infuriate me.

Frank:Do you have some sort of donkey brain database?

No.

Frank:I'm looking for a kid, the frog kid. Just search for any half-man, half-amphibious creature.

Dennis:I've always relied upon the kindness of strangers.

Dennis:What is... what are you do... What is that, A Streetcar Named Desire?

Dennis:You haven't thought of the smell, you bitch!

Dennis:Of course I'm not, Dee. Don't be ridiculous. Think of the smell. You haven't thought of the smell, you bitch!

Dr. Zimmerman:you are Froggy.

Frank:Huh?

Dr. Zimmerman:It was you, Frank! You are the frog kid!

You were an outcast as a child, so you created an imaginary friend... But the lines of reality became blurred. Soon you didn't know where Frank began and Froggy ended.

Frank:We have to catch the froggy. Put that down. Get out of here!

Here we go, come on...

Dr. Zimmerman:I'm not sick anymore! I'm not a frog!

Frank:I know I'm not a frog!

Frank:Catch the froggy!

Cricket:Unless you have crack. If you have crack, let's boogie.

Mac:No one is going into your asshole.

Cricket:I wouldn't let them without the crack.

Dennis:Well, I had a simple conversation with a reasonable man and that man wrote me a prescription.

Dee:Mm, yeah. He got the drugs by being a real-life actual psychopath.

Pete:All that stuff with my family? It's just, it's just a rumor people started about me... none of it was true, and then the more people spread it around, the more afraid people were of me.

Pete:Social anxiety disorder mixed with depression. I was really more of a danger to myself. I was always talking about committing suicide.

Pete:you always liked me, so I figured you guys could help me cope with it.

That we would help...?

Pete:Yeah!

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Mac:This thing's going all the way to Los Angeles, buddy, all right? City of Angels!

Dennis:Yeah, a place where no one is depressed.

Charlie:Yeah, you can surf the sadness away!

Train Conductor:Oh, well, George, good luck. Enjoy Philadelphia, City of Brotherly Love.

Yeah.

Train Conductor:They're gonna take great care of you here.