Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack

Frank:Go download me a hoagie off the Internet.

Dee:Those words don't make any s- sense.

Charlie:There's pigeons in the bar.

Mac:I didn't know women could have heart attacks.

Dennis:Dee, your ship has sailed. Okay, it's time to move on to us, the people who are going to live on.

Charlie:Or a cop to shoot a guy

Charlie:I do always give a fake name 'cause I like to stay off the grid. They usually just give me a bunch of antibiotics, the sores go away, and I walk out.

Charlie:Really lets your ass breathe.

Frank:I canceled that shit when you were nine.

Doctor:Well, get out.

Dennis:Why is the government not providing us with health insurance? I mean, what is this, like some kind of socialist country or some kind of communist dictatorship?

Mac:How does an ass breathe? Explain that to me.

Frank:I can't sift through the duds. I got to take 'em all because I got to get healthy really fast.

Mac:I want to get that Jesus-on-the-cross look. I think that crucifixion must have been really good for your core because...

Dennis:Absolutely. Jesus had, like, the best abs.

Mac:I want to get that Jesus-on-the-cross look. I think that crucifixion must have been really good for your core because...

Dennis:Absolutely. Jesus had, like, the best abs.

Mac and Dennis immediately abandon workout plans to get supplements and outfits instead

Mac:Well, we thought we'd save paper. You know, go green.

Charlie:For several years, I've been in complete charge of pretty much everything in my life... There's certain things that you just can't have control of, sir.

Charlie:This has nothing to do with money. This is sort of a health insurance situation for us... so, you know, frankly, you don't even really have to pay us at all.

Dee:Well, maybe you shouldn't dress like a bumblebee, bitch.

Mac:You just dogged, bro.

Dennis:You just got dogged.

Dee:Spin class. A bunch of hamsters on a wheel. I'm gonna ride a bike hard, I'm gonna ride a bike fast and oh, yeah, I'm not gonna go anywhere.

Mac:I, on the other hand, have not taken a shit in days... My body's working at 100% efficiency. My body is absorbing every single nutrient, and it's not wasting a single thing.

Mac:My body is absorbing every single nutrient, and it's not wasting a single thing. My body's working at 100% efficiency.

Charlie:Mr. Taylor whose grandpa was a sailor. Mr. Scott who drinks his coffee hot. Mr. White whose wife is not too bright.

Mac:I can't rember... He bangs that old lady, and then they play that song from the '80s. 'Day Bow Bow.'

Charlie:What the hell is 'Day Bow Bow'?

Charlie:The mail goes into three sections according to how important I think the thing looks... Now, the least important stuff, I'm gonna burn that. If it's important, they're gonna send it again, right?

Charlie:Charlie smoking and drinking coffee to calm his nerves while sorting mail

Dennis:If you know Latin, you know, like, three languages, so... I don't speak Latin, but there's pictures in here, so I think we're good.

Dee:Maybe I put some collagen in your eye.

Dennis:You injected Mexican collagen in my eye?!

Charlie:Pepe Silvia... This name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day, Pepe's mail's getting sent back to me... There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist!

Charlie:There's not a single, goddamn desk in that office. There is no Carol in HR. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up.

Charlie:There's not a single, goddamn desk in that office. There is no Carol in HR.

Charlie:You don't see Bar...? Oh, shit, where the hell did he...?

Charlie:Barney. He's the guy who tipped me off to Pepe Silvia.

Mac:Barney?! Who the hell is Barney?!

Charlie:You don't see Bar...? Oh, shit, where the hell did he...?

Mac:You've lost your mind. You've lost your goddamn mind, Charlie.

Frank:Pick this up and throw it through this window. Pick... throw.